#so i'll have to make the gifs smaller and put them in another post i suppose

[alwaysxlarrie]

dan humphrey yearns to be blair's wife: a gif series | 1/?

x

[early2000smovieimagines]

Meeting David Allen Griffin

(Not my gif) (Requested by anonymous)

(I'll try to get the dating portion of this finished in the near future. I felt like there was too much included in this scenario to put it all in one post anyway. Hope you enjoy!)

“Have you ever noticed that the older you get, the smaller you become?”

- You don’t know the exact moment you started to feel insignificant but it felt as though the minute you turned eighteen, it was magnified sevenfold. Once you got out of high school and you got your license and you started working, you started to realize just how anonymous the rest of the world really was. 

- You could pass by hundreds of people a day, and yet, you wouldn’t be able to recall a single one of them off the top of your head. You could sit on a curb for hours and no one would even bother looking your way. If you started crying, no one would ask if you were okay. If you were visibly struggling, they’d look the other way. It all just felt so …lonely. 

- Maybe that’s why you started your humble radio show. Maybe a part of you was yearning: yearning to reach out and brave that daunting gap between you and the rest of the fast paced society that was whirling around you. To speak to the people who looked a lot like yourself: like-minded individuals who just wanted to talk to someone who was willing to take the time out of their day to listen; to speak to someone who wanted to make a connection with them regardless of how fleeting that connection may prove to be. 

- Anonymity provided the people who called into your show with a sense of protection. They quickly found themselves throwing their inhibitions to the wind, allowing themselves to speak freely and comfortably, to vent their frustrations. Most of them were lonely: happy to speak about anything at all. Some were opinionated and prideful: wanting to talk about their views and passionately debate any point that you brought up that they didn’t agree with. Others were desperate: seeking guidance from another faceless person who tried their best not to judge. You’re not entirely sure where David fell on that list, though perhaps it was somewhere in the middle. 

- You worked your radio show late at night which meant that most people weren’t around to listen to it: if you were lucky, you’d get ten or so callers a night, and if you were really lucky, none of them would be perverts. Most of the time, you’d just play music for your listeners or ramble on about relevant facts or whatever else came to mind that could help you pass the time.

- David's calls were a welcome reprieve, a break from all of the prank callers and heavy breathers. You always knew what you were getting into whenever you heard his voice, knew it would never let you down. After a while, you’d begun looking forward to talking to him. 

- He didn’t call regularly and the lengths of his conversations always varied; ranging from guest speaking for a couple of minutes to practically becoming a co-host, but you were always more than happy to talk to him. That was, until his calls started taking a darker turn.... 

“Have you ever thought about hurting someone.”

- The question had thrown you off, your eyes glancing towards the line that connected the two of you. “I think most people have,” You’d answered after a moment or two. “When someone wrongs us I think it’s sort of natural to get upset and want to get even.”

“No, no. Not when you’re wronged. I mean a total stranger. Someone you don’t even know.” Came his reply. 

“I can’t say I have David. …Have you?” He didn’t speak for a moment, the silence feeling much more heavy than the ones you were used to. Finally, he let out an exhale and answered. 

“All the time.” The way he said it made you shiver: the way his voice seemed to change, shift into something a little darker, something with more depth than you were capable of understanding. 

“Why do you think that is?” You questioned earnestly, intrigued yet wary. David had never behaved like this before, and this slight crack in his facade had managed to fill you with morbid curiosity. 

“I don’t know. It’s just always been there. Something in me just wants to do it,” He’d answered, pausing for a long moment before continuing. “What do you think about that?”

- The call ended soon after, and the next call you'd had with him made it seem as though things were back to normal, but after that, there was a noticeable shift in the way that David talked to you. He still spoke about music or the same types of things he’d always brought up, but amongst all of that were conversations about far more morbid topics.

- You wrote it off as an interest in psychology or forensics, sometimes an odd way of wording things while trying to have a deep conversation, but after a while, you couldn’t deny that there was something truly off about your anonymous friend.

- In a matter of months, he’d shifted from talking about bands to telling you about his violent thoughts: about how he’d stalked a woman, about her routine, about how he’d killed her, and about how it felt. You’d let him speak about it for a while, mainly out of morbid curiosity: unsure of whether he was reciting fact or fiction. You’d answered truthfully when he asked questions, you'd pried for more information, tried to pick apart whether he was being truthful or not.

- You went to the police once you were certain, telling them everything you knew, trying your best to recall all of the details he’d told you about himself; things you’d forgotten about as time went on. They’d chosen to tap your radio station, encouraging you to talk to him and try to get as much information out of him as you possibly could without being suspicious: a taxing request which involved listening to some gruesome details that you’d rather not have heard. 

“You went to the police, they’re listening in now.” He stated with complete certainty one day. It wasn’t a question and you were sure there was no way of denying it. 

“They have my lines tapped. They tried tracing your calls but they can’t link you to any one place,” You’d answered truthfully before hesitantly asking your next question. “Does that make you upset?”

- He took a long pause before he replied. “You’ll have to do more than that to upset me, y/n. You said it yourself: all they’re doing now is listening in like the rest of your audience. They might as well be sat in their cars.”

“I guess you're right. …Is there anything you want to say to them?” 

“I don’t want to talk to them. I want to talk to you. I tried with them, but it didn't work: they didn’t get me like you do. You’re the one who understands me, who sees me. We used to have such great conversations. ...You talk differently now. I liked us better before they got to you.” Us. You weren’t sure how to feel about that one.

- Some days he’d make conversation like normal, tease the police with useless small talk, call just to check in and see how you were doing. Other days he’d spill clues: have the police rush to investigate, have them form a massive swat team just to find another cadaver and get no closer to finding him than they had before. Whenever they tried to talk to him themselves; trying to reason with him or angrily cursing at him in frustration, they’d be met with an empty line or a passive aggressive reminder that he called to talk to you, not them.

“Did you sleep well?” He’d asked one day, curious yet casual.

“I slept fine. Why?”

“No reason. …You just look a little tired lately.”

- The comment made your heart sink, body stiffening in your seat as your eyes shot over to the police man who was stationed in the room with you, finding his eyes already on you. You struggled to respond, your tongue feeling heavy and dry in your mouth as you tried to form words with it. "You've seen me.”

"I see you a lot." He answered, as if it was the easiest thing in the word to admit.

"When?" 

"Whenever I can." 

"Why?" You couldn't come up with anything else, floundering at this new piece of information. 

"Because you're nice to look at." You faltered, unsure of what to say. He hung up after a moment of silence.

- Then came the call that changed everything....

"Hi, it's me." You nearly dropped the phone. Your home phone.

"How do you know my number?"

"I know a lot of things about you.” He answered casually, almost teasing, you could practically hear the smile in his voice. 

"Yeah? So what's my roommate's name?" You wanted to call his bluff, wanted to deter him a little with the promise of someone else living in the same house as you— being there to protect you from him if it really came down to it. 

“Oh come on, y/n. Really?” You didn’t like the amusement in his tone.

“What is it?” You insisted. 

- He paused before speaking, a heavy beat of silence that felt far longer than it actually was. "You don't have one.”

"Why are you calling?" You attempted to steel yourself, trying to keep a level tone and calm your shaking hands. 

"I wanted to talk to you."

"We spoke last night." You reminded as if he could have actually forgotten. 

"I wanted to speak to you in private." He clarified and it made your chest tighten.

"Why?" You asked, though he ultimately ignored the question. 

“You never told me you had a boyfriend. In all our times of talking, you never brought it up.” His voice was more serious now, taking on a sort of grave tone which was rare for him. No longer his chipper, sometimes taunting self. 

“I didn’t?” You replied, trying your best to remain calm. Your question wasn’t too far off from what you were thinking: out of all the times you’d spoken; especially before he let his real self shine through, you would have imagined bringing up your significant other at least once.

“No,” He insisted, pausing before continuing. “I don’t really know what you see in him.” 

- You’re not sure how to reply, and so you don't, waiting for him to continue, knowing he will. “What does he think of all this?”

“I think you already know.”

“You’re right. He doesn’t like it, though that's when he’s actually around to talk to you. He doesn’t make a lot of time for you, does he? I wonder why he even cares if you continue helping the police, continue talking to me, it’s not like he’s doing much to protect you anyway.”

“He’s a busy guy.” The words feel alien, strange on your tongue. The concept of verbally defending your boyfriend to a serial killer is almost comedic. 

“So am I. I still make time for you.”

“Why do you?” 

“I’ve told you before.”

“Tell me again.”

“Because we understand each other. Because you were the only person I had, and even while being in a relationship, I was the only person you had too.… Your boyfriend might as well have been a ghost: never there but never fully leaving. He's just a namesake, you’re better off without him. At least then you'll be fully free.”

- You didn't speak for a long moment, taking in his words. “Thank you.” You hesitantly responded.

“Hmm?” 

“Thank you for being there.” You don’t know why you said it. 

“Break up with your boyfriend.” His voice was quiet but there was something deeply commanding in it, something your words seemed to have awakened. You couldn’t bring yourself to speak.

“Break up with him.” He repeated after a moment of silence.

“I can't do that.”

"Yes you can, you can and you will. Break up with him or I'll get rid of him myself."

“I thought you didn't kill men.”

“I don't, but I'll do it for us. I'll do it just to make sure he's out of your life.”

“Why?”

“Isn't it obvious?” 

“I want you to say it.”

“Not yet,” He replied, pausing momentarily, hanging onto the silence that formed in both your voices absences, savoring the connection between the two of you. “Goodnight y/n.”

- You don’t tell the police he called. You don’t know why. 

- It eats you up inside, and yet, you still can’t bring yourself to do it. You keep it to yourself and let it consume your thoughts, uncertainty riddling your mind. When he asks if you told anyone, you answer truthfully. When he asks if you will, you tell him you won’t. You don’t know why you do.

- He calls you at home in the early mornings. He tells you things he doesn’t say in front of the police: not things that would help them but nothing entirely innocent either. Most of the time he talks about you: about the way you look, about your day, about your connection and the things he likes about you. When he calls into the radio show, he acts as if the calls never take place, as if all the communication you have is inside that room and that you won’t be talking mere hours later while the officers are at the precinct without a clue.

- It becomes obvious that his fascination with you isn't entirely platonic, that he believes there's a deeper connection between the two of you that's brewing beneath the surface. He never outright tells you how he feels, never tells you that he loves you, but he gives you hints. When you break up with your boyfriend, tears falling from your eyes just as the phone begins to ring, he praises you and tells you that it’ll only bring you closer. He can't imagine the inner turmoil that those words bring to you.

"I want to meet you." You tell him one night. Decided.

“We already have.” He replies, referencing the times he's recalled seeing you in person, interacting with you without you even knowing.

“Not like that. I wanna see you. I wanna talk to you.” You insist.

“We’re talking now.”

“I wanna touch you.” The words come out of your mouth as if your voice doesn’t belong to you. It’s late at night, you're lonely, you don’t know why you say it.

- He’s silent for a long moment, and for some reason, you worry that you’ve scared him off, as if that's not something you should pray for and rejoice about.

“How?” He finally speaks and you know right then and there that those words were your golden ticket. His voice is deep with something and it sends a chill down your spine.

“I don’t know," You answer truthfully, faltering. "I just want to feel you, to make sure you’re real, to feel something solid, something that doesn’t disappear.”

“I want you to see me. I think about it all the time.” He comments, taking in your own vulnerable admission and giving one of his own. He trails off for a few moments before he finally speaks again, giving you an address and a time before he hangs up without another word.

- In a moment of clarity, you finally tell the police, feeling as though you’re going insane. You lie about everything else but you give them that, scared of being arrested for keeping away what they might consider crucial information. 

- The police swarm the area but they never find him and you return home later that day, shivering with nerves and feeling as though you’re walking the plank; even as the officers with you insist that you’ll be fine and that they’ll be right outside your apartment in case anything were to happen to you. 

- You almost expect it when you turn around at the sound of your bedroom door shutting, when you find him standing there, basked in the light of your apartment, far more handsome than you ever could have imagined. He stills under your gaze, shoulders squaring, standing tall as you take him in; seeming almost proud of himself. He doesn’t look particularly angry but his eyes bore into your own— as if he can read every thought you’ve ever had. It’s the most seen you’ve felt in a long time, as if you’re completely naked and vulnerable.

- When he walks closer, you’re certain he’s going to hurt you: that he’s going to kill you and instantly end whatever the two of you had after a taste of your betrayal. Instead, he grabs your face, shushing you as you try to explain why you did what you did, gazing into your eyes for a long moment, watching them shine with tears. All before he leans down and kisses you. 

- You don’t know why you kiss back….

[clovers-housetree]

🌟 Sunday Sunshine! ^w^ 🌟

Hello, my little starlings and friends! Happy Sunday, I hope you've all had a good week! :3

For those of you new here, Sunday Sunshine is a series of posts I hope to post every Sunday where I talk about good things that have happened to me this week, maybe goals or plans I've got for the next week, or just goals in general- and invite my little starlings and friends to share their own sunshine, aka anything good that's happened or that they're excited for; either a big event, a yummy snack later, getting home after a busy day, seeing a pet, etc. Anything to look forward to is always nice and fun, no matter how big or small! :3

Got a bit of a long list today, here we go! :3

🌟 I got all registered for my classes this week, and had a good talk with my counselor to help me keep on track with my work!

🌟 I've also decided to try and teach myself to draw more apart from Stickerjunk, which is an art project I've been doing in my free time. It's kind of like junk journaling or scrapbooking without the pictures. I just doodle whatever I feel like, add stickers and cut-outs from magazines or boxes, like pretty LEGO flowers! :3 It's helping me a lot with learning to have fun with my art again and not be so hard on myself, because art is all about having fun! :3

🌟 I've been keeping my room clean, and my new routine has been really working out well for me! One step at a time, and even simple reminders or alarms can help me out a lot with staying organized and getting things done throughout the day.

🌟 I bought some shelves for more storage space, and they got here 2 days early!!! :0 They're a little smaller than I expected, by my mom helped me put them together, and I've ended up really liking them!! :3

🌟 I think my favorite part of this week was that it snowed over the past few days! I built a little snowman, and got to run and stomp around in the snow with my dogs, and even got some pictures of the pretty snowflakes!! :3 You can see them up close if you zoom in! :0

I really do want to get back to posting stuff like more Baby Steps, more like the "Activities for Regressors Without Caregivers" post, maybe I could make that one into a series! :0 If you have any suggestions or requests, I'd absolutely love to give it a shot! I'm really trying to work on writing more, so it'll be a win-win! :3

Like usual, I'm just tidying up and prepping for the week ahead, I've still got another week or so before I start back to school, so I'll be around if you need me or want to stop by and say hello! :3

And especially feel free to tell me about your sunshine this week if you want to, or maybe something you're excited for for next week? :0

As always, remember to stay hydrated, maybe treat yourself to something yummy to day, and remember that I'm here for you if you need me! ^w^

"Toby the Dinosaur protects this blog!"

"Content not made for kids? Not allowed here!"

[unreliablesnake]

Animals – part 2 (Simon "Ghost" Riley x reader)

Summary: You go on a date, but your date suddenly disappears. On your way out, you bump into Ghost. But little do you know he was behind that mysterious disappearance.

Note: This is part 2 (here's part 1), but it can be read as a stand-alone. There's no smut this time. If you want to know when I post new stuff, follow @unreliablesnakefics and hit the get notifications button. I don't have a taglist.

Part 3

Warnings: afab!reader (i think, i can't remember every word), toxic!Ghost, mentions of sex so MINORS DNI!

It had been way too long since you met a guy who actually entertained you. Most of those on dating apps were just looking for one-night stands, though you couldn't blame them since you were there for the same. But this guy? Damn, he was so nice and polite and handsome and perfect in every way.

Working as a research scientist at some pharmaceutical company on weekdays, volunteering at animal shelters on the weekends, talking about his sisters, nephews, and nieces so sweetly that it made you smile like crazy. And the best part? He wasn't taken aback by hearing you were in the military.

You definitely hit the jackpot with him.

"I'll go get another round," you told him, but you couldn't get yourself to let go of his hand. It was so warm and your hand fit so perfectly into his that you didn't want this to end. "Okay, I'll really go now," you added with a short laugh as you finally pulled away your hand.

As soon as you got far enough not to see the table anymore, Ghost sprung into action. He picked up his glass and walked over to your date, towering over him with a threatening look on his face. The poor guy only noticed him when he put his glass on the table and leaned down to make sure he heard every single word he was about to say.

"If I see you touch her or even talk to her again, I'll break every single bone in your body," he stated menacingly.

The man gave him a confused look. "I'm sorry?"

"You heard me. Leave. Now."

"Who are you, and why would I do as you say?" he asked, seemingly annoyed by this stranger bothering him.

Ghost let out an annoyed growl. "She's mine. Now, don't make me repeat myself." The man didn't move, instead he watched the soldier defiantly. He knew you'd be back soon, so he grabbed the front of his shirt and leaned even closer. "Trust me, mate, you don't want to know what I'm capable of. Get. Out."

This was enough to make him move. Shaking his head and cursing under his breath, he said a few words about how you weren't worth the trouble then left.

As he thought about what he had just heard, Ghost returned to the corner of the bar where he had been hiding until now. A part of him was outraged, having a difficult time keeping himself back from going after that asshole to punch him in the face for saying this about you. But there was another part, a much smaller one that fully agreed with him.

When you returned with the drinks, you found an empty table with only your bag on top of it. You looked around, utterly confused by the disappearance of your date. Even his jacket was gone, so he probably wasn't in the bar anymore. But where the hell did he go all of a sudden?

After fishing out your phone from your bag, you immediately dialed his number. "Where are you?" you asked when he finally answered.

"I left. Why didn't you tell me that you have a boyfriend?"

"What? I don't have a boyfriend."

He let out a huff and you could imagine him roll his eyes. "Well, some big, scary guy still came over to me while you were gone and told me to leave you alone," he explained.

You wondered what guy he was talking about. "I have no idea who it could be," you said after successfully going through the list of possible suspects in your mind.

"Whatever, I won't waste my time on you."

With that he ended the call and you were left standing there by the table. It was so strange, you had never experienced anything like this before. You had never been stood up like that by a guy you liked before.

Taking a deep breath, you thought about what to do. In the end you walked over to a couple sitting at the other table on your side and gave them the two glasses with a forced smile. "I don't need these anymore. Have a good evening."

You turned around to leave, but before you could reach the door, you bumped into someone. When you looked up, you saw a familiar face, brown eyes locked with yours in an instant.

"Ghost?" you asked, suddenly feeling a little timid.

He gulped, having an incredibly hard time restraining himself when being so close to you. You were his drug, something that was lingering in the back of his mind all the time, making him angry and desperate at the same time. The lieutenant didn't want to like you. He tried to fight it, tried to get you out of his system, but all of his attempts were futile. One way or another, he needed you to function properly.

"What are you doing here?"

"I wanted to ask the same thing," you replied as you shoved your hand into your pockets.

Ghost buried his hand into his hair as he watched you. "I was meeting a friend nearby and came in for a drink before going back home," he told you, the lie rolling off his tongue without a problem.

"Wait, you live here? I thought you lived in Manchester."

"I moved a few months ago."

For some reason you gave him a doubtful look. "Is that so?"

"Yeah, I needed a change of scenery."

"Good for you. Well, my night is ruined, so I'm leaving. Have fun," you said before you walked past him and left the bar.

Fuck, fuck, fuck. He couldn't let you leave like that. He needed you tonight, he needed to hear you let out those sweet sounds, the whimpers and string of incoherent words as he fucked you. "Wait," he called after you once he was outside. You came to a halt and turned back with a questioning look. "I'll walk you home."

But you shook your head at this. "I'll be fine, thanks."

"This wasn't a question," Ghost informed you, his voice carrying the sort of authority it did during missions.

This obviously didn't go past by you because you shook your head and pinched the bridge of your nose in annoyance. "What do you want from me?" you asked, sounding exasperated.

He stepped closer to you, close enough to lean down and kiss you with his arms wrapped around your body if he wanted to act on his instincts. At first he didn't know what to say. He had been keeping an eye on you for so long that now it was a habit he simply couldn't shake off. And being with you, either in a friends with benefits or actual relationship would fuck up the balance of his life.

Because he didn't want to be friends. He didn't want to be your lover. He just…

Well, he didn't really know what he wanted. To control every aspect of your life? To continue his ritual of secretly looking at photos of you in the middle of the night as he jacked off? Or did he just want to keep his distance, to continue to watch you from afar without you knowing about it?

You could tell something was wrong, you could feel it in your bones. His icy stare gave you the chills, and the more time that passed, the more anxious you became. Ghost was too close to your liking. You could feel the heat radiating from his body which drove you dangerously close to the edge.

Something suddenly changed about his body language, as if a switch had been flipped in his brain. "You. All of you," he replied. "We had fun last time, didn't we?"

Oh, yes, the last time when you threw your pride away just to be thoroughly fucked by him. As much as you hated to admit it, none of your one-night stands could satisfy you the way the lieutenant could. You were drawn to him, and he could easily control you like a puppeteer.

But his cold, dismissive behavior on missions was still a vivid memory, something you couldn't easily forget about. It was strange that he was so different in private, when it was just the two of you on your days off. "I thought you hated me."

Ghost thought about his answer. "My feelings for you are a little�� complicated."

"How so?"

Instead of answering, he moved his lips to your ear, playfully biting it before moving down your jawline, just until he could capture your lips. You hesitated, but the familiar feeling made you return the kiss in the end, and you slowly wrapped your arms around his waist to keep him close.

"You're so fucking annoying and disobedient on the field," he whispered against your lips. "But I can't keep my distance from you. It's hard to explain."

His big palms brushed over the skin on your arms until he peeled them off of himself then he intertwined his fingers with yours. You wanted to accept his answer because you were just as confused about your feelings for him as he was, but your instincts told you to run.

"I should go home," you told him as you pulled away, your eyes fixed on his chest. You couldn't look him in the eye, afraid of what he would say or do. He took a deep breath, preparing himself to say something, but you quickly spoke up to stop him. "Alone."

Ghost let out an annoyed groan. He was ready in every way to fuck you again, but now you ruined his fun with these words. How could he convince you? You seemed so sure of yourself that he wondered if it was even possible to change your mind.

When he reached out to touch you again, you immediately pulled away, taking several steps back to build a distance from him. "Why are you doing this? Just tonight. Just this one time," he tried, his voice steady and confident, almost demanding.

But you shook your head. "This would be the second time. And then what? You show up again and ask for another time? Then another?" Probably, although he wasn't about to say that out loud. "I don't wanna do this, Simon."

"Don't you dare call me that," he growled, his hand instinctively wrapping around your neck. Your eyes went wide and he let go at once. Ghost bit on his lower lip as he buried a hand in his hair and began to pace in front of you. "I'm sorry," he apologized. But he was mad because he never gave you permission to call him that. Never.

Your chest was heaving rapidly as you watched him, your eyes not losing track of him for a second. He knew you were scared of him, and he also knew that you had every reason to feel this way. He shouldn't have done that. He shouldn't have attacked you. But when he heard you say his name, it made him angry.

"Just don't call me Simon again," he said.

"Goodnight, lieutenant," you told him, emphasizing the last word before turning around to walk away from him.

He kept his eyes on you, mentally kicking himself for not keeping his emotions under control. As you disappeared into the night, he caught a cab and went to your apartment, asking the driver to stop a few blocks away from it just to be sure you didn't see him.

Ghost had to see you again. He wanted to make sure you were home, sleeping peacefully in your bed. According to the GPS in your phone, you were just about to arrive when he turned around the corner. He managed to catch a glimpse of you when you opened the door of the apartment building.

Every bone in his body was drawn to you, but he tried to resist his instincts. He couldn't go after you, breaking in your door if he had to just to throw you on your bed and have you in any way he wanted. It was just him and his hand tonight, all thanks to his fucking mistake.

He glanced down at his watch–it was almost eleven. He waited for another hour on the street before you finally turned off your lights, giving him the signal that made him go home to his own place.

Far from you.

Far from the temptation.

[nancypullen]

What's Up, Buttercup?

Things have gotten very quiet around here and that is not a complaint. The new year tiptoed in without much fanfare on our part. We practice the old Irish tradition of opening the front and back doors at midnight to usher out the old year and welcome the new. Gotta' say, not at all excited about 2025. If you go back in the archives of this blog you'll see me waxing poetic about the thrill of a sparkling new year, 365 blank pages to fill, a blank canvas to paint, and so on. This year I feel great trepidation and my only hope is that the next few years are not as bad as anticipated. Sorry if I sound like a downer, that's not my norm - but I've been on this particular ride before and it was not good. We live in an idiocracy now. Having said that, my intention is to fill as much time and space as I can with things that bring me joy - art, writing, and my sweet family to name a few. Good books, good music, more time in nature, all of those are high on the list as well. I have to focus on what I can control and that's a pretty small bubble. SO... After Matt flew back to Minneapolis on the 2nd, I dismantled Christmas and swept it up and out. The dregs of a happy holiday...greenery, glitter, and bits of trash.

I was glad to reclaim the clean, uncluttered spaces. Next year I will not put out as many decorations. I want to get a smaller tree - not shorter, just more slender. I'd love to get a flocked tree and give it a vintage vibe. I can't justify a new tree purchase while ours still lights up, but you can bet the second a bulb burns I'll be shopping. I mean, the possibilities....

As I packed away holiday decor, I found myself setting aside more and more for Goodwill. Let someone else enjoy the things I've gathered over the years. I don't use most of it anymore, I'd love it if someone else found joy in them. The mister took down the outdoor lights and then broke down cardboard boxes in the garage to take to the recycling spot. I did save one that came in handy.

With a soft blanky it's a great clubhouse. They're not using it much, so I'll give it another week and then out it goes. If they start to love it I'll invest in a pretty one. They usually prefer cozying up to us. Oh, remember the slips I was burning each day to find out where my focus would be in 2025? I put goals and/or desires on pieces of paper then folded them up and burned one a day (without peeking) until the new year. The last one was opened and is supposed to be my mission. This is what I ended up with, and I don't even know where to begin.

I don't know how to do that. If you've read this blog for any amount of time you know that after our move to Maryland I went from being a ridiculously happy person to a not-very-happy-can't-see-the-light-at-the-end-of-the-tunnel person. It's foreign to me to feel so blue so often, so that whole "prioritize my happiness" sounds really good, but what's the blueprint for that? I need a plan. I mean, a winning lottery ticket would be a great first step. That takes me back to focusing on things I can control. It's a vicious cycle. I suppose most would think it means putting myself first, that's something I've struggled with my entire life. Who can be happy if you're making someone else unhappy? Ugh. I'll figure it out. Note: I interrupted this blog post to make dinner. How am I doing with that whole "me first" thing ?

Hey, here's something I have no control over and it's been utterly delightful - this glorious weather! That big ol' winter storm blew through and dumped nearly a foot of snow on us. It's so beautiful.

Our yard has been full of birds - juncos, cardinals, blue jays, sparrows, finches, and this woodpecker has been a regular visitor as well. Yep, that's a fuzzy pic snapped through a window while I lounged on the sofa with a book. Use your imagination. Word got out in bird world and we've had hundreds (no exaggeration!) of feathered visitors every day since the big snow.

We've been keeping the feeders filled and feel like we're personally saving all of the local wildlife. Mickey even scattered seed under the grandgirl's swing and it started a party.

The sun came out brilliantly today and, even though temps didn't get above freezing, it caused big clumps of snow to fall from the trees. Miss Molly soaked up some rays.

Phoebe spends her hours stalking birds.

When the first wave of snow hit I did what any blizzard loving yankee gal would do - I made a pot of soup. This is such an easy favorite.

Chicken stock, a can of petite diced tomatoes, plenty of garlic, spinach (or kale, that's what I had), some sort of chicken or turkey sausage - crumbled Italian, or sliced, doesn't matter, and tortellini. But here's what makes the magic happen - add a half cup of white wine to the broth, and just before you turn the heat off and prepare to serve it up, drop a tablespoon of butter in and stir. One teensy tablespoon into that big pot gives it a wonderful depth of flavor. Honest. If you can top it with a little shaved parm (I was out) that kicks it up another notch. It's so yummy. I've been eating a ton of salads since we kissed Christmas goodbye. I honestly love them, but some days soup just hits right.

That's normally my lunch. Mixed greens, avocado, pepitas, chopped dried cranberries, cukes, and a drizzle of balsamic. Not fancy, but tasty and filling. It's better when I have some feta to throw on top. Breakfast is usually a protein shake with collagen powder. I can't honestly say that I've noticed a difference in my health since I started that routine about three months ago - it's really just a habit now and super easy. Beats cooking breakfast. Mickey gave me this adorable tumbler to start my mornings with a smile.

I love it!

That's pretty much all that's happening around here. I'm doing a lot of reading, working on some writing, dabbling in art projects, and enjoying the cozy feeling of these frosty, sparkling, snowy days. Eight days into 2025, I have no complaints. The next goal is to get back on the dang treadmill and put some mileage on my shoes. I've been awful about that. I need to build a new playlist and get started. I'd probably stay on the treadmill longer if I listened to a murder podcast instead of music, they're just not making new ones daily. I should probably listen to tales of people who ended up with bypass surgery or stents because they didn't exercise. Adding butter to soup and avoiding the treadmill is probably not the smartest move I've ever made. There ya' go. I opened my brain and shook it out all over the keyboard. You can pick through the rubbish and find what's worth keeping. I hope that your year has started well and that you have some things to look forward to, that's important. If you don't have anything to happily anticipate, start putting some on your calendar. Doesn't have to be a big deal, it can be as simple as planning a night for getting takeout, the start date of a favorite movie or show, or treating yourself to something. I find if I write something fun in a little square on my calendar it cheers me up. I'm just enough of a dork to count down the days until the Golden Globes (I did). I don't care about the awards, I just like to see the gowns - but the point is that little bits of happiness sprinkled throughout a month add up, and we can all benefit from occasional delights, right?

Go ahead, make yourself happy. Time for me to play mah-jongg while the mister watches another spy/chase/mob/whatever movie. Sending out lots of love tonight. Take what you need and pass it on. That's our mission in 2025. Stay safe, stay well. XOXO, Nancy

[imm0rtalbutterfly]

Jealous Of The One Thing I'll Never Get To Have

Date Posted: 9/18/24

Beta read: Kind of?

Summary:

"The sight of their phone on the floor gave Neon some insight, but she wanted to hear it from them. Not the screen. With a shaky breath and a hand running through their hair trying to straighten out the mess of it, they'd begun to speak. “I will never get older.” They said their voice was shaking as they fought the urge to cry again. “Gods this is stupid. I’m sorry.” They watched Neon frown. “It's not stupid. I wanna know, I wanna help.” She gestured for them to keep talking, they wiped their eyes on the sleeve of their shirt." or Clove doom scrolls really bad and has a panic induced breakdown over all these anti aging videos they keep seeing on their phone. Neon finds them sobbing over it.

Other notes: Hyperfixation so strong it threw me headfirst into being a fanfic author again. The author curse is strong but I prevail(die). Enjoy <3

--------------------------

Immortality was fine. Useful, even at the best of times, but mostly it was tedious. They were immortal but not invincible, and  it hurt like hell to get hit, to die, to come back. The very thought that they will not age haunted them for so long, the very idea that they won't get to experience the way their body should naturally deteriorate was almost disappointing, there were of course things they were grateful for like the fact that, Clove could push themselves harder than they should because of it, simply because they could. Their bones would never brittle and their muscles would never snap so long as they took care of themselves. They would be on this earth forever and they would fight for it until they could no longer. Or until they won. 

They truly did hope there was another universe where they would grow old happily. 

Immortality didn’t bother them, not like it used to. What bothered them was everyone else's view on their own mortality. They were so sick of seeing ad after ad for retinol and face cream and wrinkle remover. Why did these people need a “cure” for something as beautiful as seeing the evidence of the life they lived? They were jealous, sitting and seething over someone talking about laugh lines like they were the world's most common evil. They put their phone down with a loud sigh curling up on their bed as they thought about the whole thing. Their mind desperately needed a minute, they didn’t even know how they got down this rabbit hole. They were watching someone make some new recipe they found and then they were here, scrolling for hours, retinol, anti aging medley, manifestation to live longer, anti aging diet. Fuck. Every single thing ran through their brain at once; they felt like they were going to explode. They were going to live. Forever. They would watch all of their friends grow old and die and maybe even that was too much to hope for. One wrong move on a mission and they could be burying their best friend the next morning like it was a completely normal thing to have to do. 

Clove didn't notice when they’d started crying, wiping furiously at their face trying to stop it, the tears kept coming, eventually turning into heaving sobs as they fell to pieces  on their bed feeling like a blubbering child crying over something they felt was so stupid. They could see their face in the mirror across their bed puffy, red, miserable. A face they would see forever in the mirror and it only made it worse. Their misery was quick to turn to anger. Without thinking they hurled the heaviest thing they could reach at the mirror, it shattered on impact with the force they threw it with. 

“Ah shite.” they muttered moving from their bed to the floor to pick up the pieces. Enraptured in the task they didn't hear Neon come up to the door, knock and call out their name. They felt the smaller  pieces of glass digging into their knees through their leggings felt the small cuts on their hands as they picked up the pieces of the mirror they’d broken. They felt like they broke part of themself in the process in a way. They didn't register the sound of the door clicking open and latching shut. They were too focused on cleaning their mess. Until Neon knelt to their level and started sweeping up the bigger pieces into a pan throwing it into a trashcan in the corner. She didn't speak. Didn’t need to, there was nothing she could say that could make this better. 

When she noticed Clove’s bleeding knees she sat them on the bed, grabbed a first aid kit and carefully worked to pull out whatever pieces got lodged in the skin. Neon didn’t scold them, didn't chastise them for being reckless with the glass and Clove didn’t speak, the tears in their eyes never fell. Their mind was simply too loud. A dull static filled by the sounds of everything they saw. When Neon had finished bandaging up their knees she pulled them into her lap, careful of the scrapes on their hands. She took another rag gently cleaning off their hands. Even still said nothing, tossing the rag into the hamper nearby, Neon simply held them, her hands gently running through their hair. She took the clips out of their hair, placing them on the nightstand and it was so gentle Clove thought they’d start sobbing again over the softness of it all. 

“Clove?” Neon’s voice shook them back out of their thoughts, and they realized that they had in fact begun to cry again. “What's wrong ang sweet ko?” When Cove said nothing, simply holding onto her shirt like it was a life saver and they were a drowning man, she said again. “matamis na bagay, what's going through your head?” It took them a few moments to finally say a word and Neon sat patiently waiting for them to be ready. The sight of their phone on the floor gave her some insight, but she wanted to hear it from them. Not the screen. With a shaky breath and a hand running through their hair trying to straighten out the mess of it, they'd begun to speak. “I will never get older.” They said their voice was shaking as they fought the urge to cry again. “Gods this is stupid. I’m sorry.” They watched Neon frown. “It's not stupid. I wanna know, I wanna help.” She gestured for them to keep talking, they wiped their eyes on the sleeve of their shirt.

“I don't even know what happened.” They said, they wrapped their arms around their knees bringing them up to their chest. Their phone was still on the floor next to the little figurine they’d thrown at the mirror. “You’re my.. friend, and you're upset. Take your time, I’m here when you want to talk.” Neon said softly, brushing their hair out of their face and wiping a tear from their eye. 

“You're a really good friend Tala.” Clove didn’t miss the little smile she gave them at the sound of her real name. When it came to her there wasn’t a lot that they did miss. “These people are so angry about the fact that they're getting older. All those stupid, useless creams and serums all to what? Fill in a wrinkle? It's stupid. They're so obsessed with how they look and how they age. I’ll never get that.” they said, feeling a little like a spoiled child pouting over a toy they didn't get to have. 

“Everyone I love will die and there's nothing I can do to stop it.” They said their voice trailing into more of a whisper than anything. That jealous rage had long subsided and all they felt was misery and that ugly sort of grief that comes from mourning someone who hasn't yet died. 

Neon listened patiently, a stark contrast to her normal demeanor, she was still as she sat in their bed, the only movement coming when Clove jumped up to hug her tightly. She held them for a long time, the two residing in silence, as they often did. Neither of them expected anything from the other, they just happened to gravitate to each other, finding themselves after missions, patching up little wounds that were too small to bother Sage with, and falling asleep in one or the other ones beds. There wasn’t a word for what it was, and there never could be. Clove wouldn’t let it happen, and Neon respected that. The routine had become so ingrained in them that it felt weird to go without it. 

Neon ran her fingers through Clove's hair until she drifted off to sleep. They removed their rings fidgeting with them for a moment before placing them down. Once assured that she was well and truly sleeping she leant up and placed a soft kiss to her cheek.

 “I’m sorry I cannot love you the way you deserve. But I really do love you Tala.” They said leaning their head back down where it was and letting themself drift off. The original thing that upset them had long gone, replaced with an emotion they were unfamiliar with but they didn’t dwell on it. The last thing they felt before they too were asleep was Neon waking for a moment to kiss the top of their head and they both fell asleep. 

[gatheredfates]

Hello everyone—this is another smaller update post for Sea's Community Compendium! These are likely to continue until next week (provided I have resources), then it'll swap back to a weekly update when I go back to work. I want to try and keep up with any and all resources that I can in the early days so I'm not swamped when I get busy. ⛵

I'm trying to get a headcount going with Dawntrail's release! I probably did it a bit too early, to be fair, but I'm insane like that. If you're looking for people to follow, I highly recommend replying to that thread because I'll reblog any that come my way.

With that said, however, as of today (07/10), the following resources have been added to Sea's Community Compendium for XIV Creatives.

LARGE-SCALE COMMUNITY DISCORDS / SPACES

The Aitiascope Directory — A repository of roleplayers for the North American FFXIV community.

Please note: this resource does look to be newly created and needs contributions from people like you in order to succeed!

FFXIV Crafting Optimiser — This website is a crafting tool that tries to find a solution for your synthesis, using your own given crafting attributes and stats.

SEAFLOOR

We're a Tumblr Community now! For people unfamiliar with the concept of Communities, I encourage you to check out the tumblr post by staff made about them here. However, copy/pasting what I have written in the Compendium, the Community functions as so:

SEAFLOOR (A FFXIV Community) is a Tumblr community whose duel-purpose focuses on my projects — the Compendium, question drives and screenshot events — whilst also reblogging member created works, resources (including events, commissions and looking for content/roleplay/free company posts), affirmations and other xiv-related content. If you are interested in supporting my projects without the social aspect of a Discord, I highly encourage you to join the Community. Everything hosted on the Discord will be cross-posted there; you will not miss out on anything. As Communities are still in beta, members need to be manually invited. If you would like to join, please like the tumblr post here. Once Communities are out of beta, I will remove this section to better reflect its true public status.

I'm hoping the Community will function as a member-curated dash, resource hub and visual diary for my projects and member created works. There are no hard feelings if you want to leave the Discord and only join the Community. Please do what makes you comfortable!

Want to submit? You can either fill out the google form here or send me an ask with the relevant information!

Is my space suitable for the Compendium? Most of the time, yes! Below the read more is some more information/stipulations. Again, all the below information is accessible on the document! 🦈

Below are the following things I do not accept on the Compendium:

Personal/Single-Character LFC ads.

Content intended for or can be used for bullying, harassment and OOC gossip. E.g. ‘Secrets’ blogs, receipts, callout posts, etc. This does not include in-character tabloid blogs used to generate RP.

Communities that do not have an RP/writing element (large-scale exempt).

Anything I find personally distasteful or goes against the spirit of this project.

Common-sense rule applies.

FAQ.

I want to put my community on the compendium but we have an application process. Is this okay?

Yes! Just note somewhere in your application that's a requirement. The only thing that is mandatory for the Compendium is that you must be open to new members or have a public-facing/accessible facet. There's no point advertising a community if no one can join it in some way!

I want to put my community on the compendium but I only have x number of members —

Also totally okay! People don't start with large communities. Activity is a must but, whether your server has two or two thousand members, if you're looking for new people to join, I'd love to help you find people.

I want to put my community on the compendium but I worry its too niche?

Okay, and? If your Eorzean Fishing Alliance has four members but you roleplay every second weekend, I still want to know about it.

What resources/communities can I add if I'm not the owner of them?

Mutual consent is extremely important to me, so anything that isn't a large-scale community OR a publicly accessible resource must be endorsed by the owner/admin/moderators in order to be added to the compendium. I operate under the assumption that a resource posted to a public space (tumblr, googledocs, youtube, etc) is open to all. A large-scale community is one with a significant member count or openly advertises itself as being accessible to everyone for whatever purpose it serves. If in doubt, please get in touch with me. I'm happy to contact your community owners for you!

How active does a community need to be?

If you find a community has not been active in about two/three months, send me a message and I'll take a look at it. Communities have ebbs and flows, especially event spaces that may take hiatuses depending on member interest/life events. I'm not strict in my implementation provided a space isn't dead. If a link or anything is broken, absolutely contact me about that.

I have [insert a question not stated here]?

No drama! Send me an ask or use the #Compendium channel in my Discord!

[sanctaignorantia]

Memory Card Theory (#2)

More I think about it, the sillier it seems, but I'm going to write it anyway because it might help us to see the same things from another point of view, however silly it may be. And, of course, in season 3 none of this may be the case, but we're thinking and we're having fun, right?

Let me add a few things to this post I made here about the "Memory Card" Theory. When I said 'gift from Beelzebub' I meant exactly the Fly, the Fly itself functions as a Memory Card where Jimbriel has stored part of himself. He puts it in the matchbox, then takes it out and puts it in another box.

When I compare this to Crowley I mean the Plants, they would be Crowley's Memory Card and they used to be "free" in his house because they were safe there, but Shax arrives and puuuuf!! The Plants he carries in the boxes aren't even the same as the ones we see in his house before, but he still carries them around. "But you see, they were huge and wouldn't fit in the Bentley", so Crowley must have made them smaller haha. But Bentley itself is another Memory Card. He puts the Plants in the box and that box is inside another "box" that moves, that's Bentley.

So now we have Aziraphale and her Books. We have an episode where Azi writes in a Diary. Diaries are of course Memory Cards and at the same time they are Books. And they're not in boxes, they're in the Bookshop. Did you see Azi ascend to heaven with a box of books? Naaaah.

And when I say box, I mean it figuratively. We will clearly and literally have a box, but we also have other places that will represent this "place to keep things" and these things would be memories, parts of them. You can also call these places nests if you want to associate them with birds (nightingales) and make everything even more painful. :)

We have these creatures attached to things and these things are extensions of them, so why can't we say that they have pieces of their memories? The whole season talks about it. Memory.

Who can guarantee me that heaven (Metatron) always knew about Aziraphale's escapades with Crowley? That Aziraphale always lied, but one way or another heaven let it go because one way or another they can (and will) be deleting things from Aziraphale's memory, WHO GUARANTEES ME? Metatrash could do this next season, it could be the way he finds to control Azi in heaven, deleting, altering, moving her memories.

You tell me they're not talking. It seems to me that something very terrible would have to happen for them not to speak to each other, that discussion at the end of the season doesn't seem like one of them. Are they not talking because they really don't want to or because SOMEONE IS STOPPING THEM?

For the love of something if anyone touches my angel's beautiful head I'll have a--

I'm trying to organize the ideas I had regarding the places they belong to plus their relationship when it comes to Nina/Maggie, Gabriel/Beelzebub and Crowley/Aziraphale, but it's really hard to formulate an intelligent and short text about it, sorry… I keep thinking and then things lose their meaning. Maybe I'll come back later with that part.

[winxanity-ii]

hey! here to say i’m sorry for the hate and vitriol you received from people angry the character wasn’t white? it’s funny because most media and the world is made for them so to get angry at the few things that aren’t? very entitled but also very fitting for white people

okay, i've been waiting for another ask like this to be sent becasue i'm too shaky to go back to the ones i've had sitting in my inbox for weeks😭, this might be a bit long, but bear with me, i can't help but making sure all points are covered.

so please, welcome how one of my character development moments came to be.... (p.s, sorry for the meme reactions they help me cope/try to remember the entire thing in a more humorous light 🫶🏾)

so basically, the entire issue that pushed me to lashout/get defensive/etc, was because i naively assumed that my thought process would be understood by everyone that came across my book, but in truth, it was more of a miscommunication issue that was exasperated by my using of random signifiers/hair types.

the miscommunications was when some assumed that by me giving the Reader has red hair and yellow eyes, i was assigning characteristics/making an OC, when in reality, i just gave Reader the main characteristics makima—the character who the whole personality is based on—had, which is: red/aurburn hair and yellow eyes.

now, this is where everything went down hill...

see, i tried to do this thing where once in a while, the readers skin tone/hair type was mention/hinted in an insignificant way, like saying:

"You pulled your hair into a bun, the soft curls tangling around your fingers in almost playful resistance; with an annoyed huff, you gave up, letting it fall however it wanted to."

or

"He grabbed your hands, captivated by the way they seemed to fit perfectly in his, unable to stop the adoring comparison; they were smaller than his, the warmth of your sun-kissed skin contrasting softly against his paler shade."

at random, like one moment it'll be curls, the next, straight, etc. ya know? but i also was kinda (read: was in fact) practicing my writing skills overall.

i adore reading—it's one main hyperfixation—so i just wanted to create what i've never had. and my writing style allows me to share this with those who've always felt the same, yet never had the guts/confidence to do it themselves...

anyways, getting back on track, combining the two, i had NUMEROUS angry/upset comments on all the platforms i posted it claiming that i was fishing for reads with a 'fake Reader' and how i needed to put blatant disclaimers that this was a Black OC—yes, you read that right ALL: wattpad, ao3, here, and quotev (especially quotev and here👀).

now, i understand the first part about fishing for reads by using an OC—i've had my fair shares of reading and going "WHAT THE FUCK IS THIS SHIT?!" when getting duped by a good ass fic—but what lost me was that there were more anger about it being a 'Black OC' instead of just being an OC at all 💀💀 like WHAT???

i was so confused (and a bit pissed) because there's no way someone the word 'tan' or 'brown' and automatically assume 'black reader' as if other racial minorities doesn't exist.

like, if i really wanted to make a black reader i would have done way more effort to showcase it, not use a flimsy word or two, but let me stop here before i make an entire essay 💀

also, i'd like to give a small apology first on behalf of not communicating better; like stated before, i'm new to the sudden boom off attention and did not know how to properly deal with an huge influx of commentary.

though i knew it shouldn't have bothered me, the more negative ones stuck out more, so i distanced myself from interacting in general so i wouldn't have to see them at all.

i'll still be distant, but i'll do better at showcasing my appreciation in other ways ❤️❤️

but yeah, that's what happened, but no worries, i just had to suck it up, take a lil break and get back on my writing shit 😎 bad days don't stop these 'tismic delusions ❤️ see you guys soon...

[eldritchamy]

fine fine FINE ill sign. what the hell is uneiverse about? one moment youre talking gay vampires killing mob bosses and the next youre talking tiers of angels/deities going so high our universe is imperceptible. i have no idea how these combine but im so curious as to how

Pleasure doing business with you, I'll take good care of that soul. Now that you've paid a fair price, let's live up to my end of the bargain, shall we?

"The Uneiverse" isn't really about anything, it's just a setting. The term is derived from the fact that the story I want to write primarily takes place on a world called Une. And Une exists in a multiverse a lot like a cross between DND's Cosmic Wheel and MTG's endless planes in the Blind Eternities. Think a layered multiverse (like the "Outer Planes" in DND which consist of the various celestial and fiendish planes, and others, and the "Inner Planes" consisting of the Feywild and the Shadowfell and the Prime Material plane. Imagine a system like this but based on something closer to MTG's color pie instead of the Alignment Chart), except instead of having only ONE Prime Material Plane, there are endless realms existing on the same LAYER of the universe that would be considered Prime Material Planes (the "Inner Realms" if you've seen me mention it in tags).

The TL;DR is that the multiverse exists in layers as the elements of creation were divided into smaller and more complicated pieces, which interact and intersect and recombine into much more complicated things. There are levels of existence (at the level of the Cosmic Progenitors and up) for which matter and physicality aren't really a thing anymore, but what you would think of as the physical, material existence of the multiverse begins with the Prime Spheres. These are the pure elements, the most basic ingredients of creation. There are currently SIX Prime Spheres (I'm strongly considering making it eight), each with both an element and an aspect, and each with an Outer God tied to its nature. These elements exist as opposite pairs (currently 3 sets, but I'd like to make it 4).

I won't give you the names of the Spheres (even though they're really cool, just with the ever-growing threat of AI data mining, I'd rather not put the names out there to get scraped), but I can give you the color pairs:

White is Sky/Air/Heaven and Order Blue is Water/the Abyss and Equilibrium/Flow Black is Shadow and Death* Null (represented as purple) is Vacuum and Entropy Red is Fire and Passion/Will Green is Earth and Life

The opposite pairs are White/Null, Blue/Red, Black/Green

*A while back in some tags, maybe the first post I ever tagged as Uneiverse-related, I think I mentioned the goddess aligned to Black, and how she feels that thinking of her as the "god of death" is a crude and small way of putting it, almost bordering on insult from how limited a perspective it is. Eternity thinks of herself as the veil between what is known and what is lost, the moment of transition between life and renewal, the thing you most fear but can least run from, the god of all things ever known and every secret taken to the grave, the infinite night that exists in the blink of an eye, the process of transition and "recycling" one stage of existence into another, she is every soul at the moment between what it was and what it will become, she is all things lost and what all things are destined to find, etc etc. My colors are not a perfect translation of what the colors represent in MTG. My version of black is more like what MTG would think of as Blue/Black multicolor.

Also, none of the elements are "evil" or malevolent. They just exist. If creation is pure light, the Prime Spheres are the distinct colors you would see when it's separated by a prism. They have no moral value to them. They are simply the ingredients of existence.

But anyway, I needed a shorthand term for that multiverse, and so I named it the Uneiverse. Seemed fitting.

But now to answer your question properly...

The STORY arises from a single concept of two characters that I came up with way back in like 2017. The initial concept was little more than a vibe: a warlock and a druid, or black magic and green magic witches, who live together in a little cottage that combines their magical styles. They had sentient, literal "spider plants" as an eco-friendly alternative to pesticides, paperweights that look like skulls with glowing eyes, etc. They each had a cat familiar: one a ghostly, spectral black shadow cat and the other quite possibly a cat shaped clump of sentient moss. The cats recently had kittens that sprouted mushrooms and gave off luminous spores when they purr or bounce around the house causing mischief. Outside the glamour that hides their cottage they keep something like a chia pet that's shaped like a skull, as an inside joke.

I called these characters Doom and Bloom.

Years later, I ended up joining my first DND campaign (still ongoing), and adapted these characters for it. So Doom and Bloom became Ash and Aria. I play Ash as a shadow-themed subclass ("Nightshade") of the Witch class I homebrewed for 5e. Aria Vernus is her wife, a Woodborn witch.

Here's where shit gets fucky.

In my ceaseless hunger to worldbuild harder, I spent the weeks in the lead up to our first session crafting myself a backstory for Ash. It ended up being like 12,000 words and Ash wasn't even born yet. If that's any indication of how the rest of this went. I had basically created a backstory for her MOTHER, Lailah.

I can give you the DND version of it as a summary.

Lailah was a Monadic Deva in Elysium. They are the strongest angels physically, and the most attuned to the neutral aspect of the Good alignments: they won't knowingly deal with Evil beings, but they are the most likely to peacefully interact with Neutral ones. Thirty years ago, there was a war in the Outer Planes and the Nine Hells were attacking the heavens. Lailah was an IMMENSELY powerful divine warrior (mechanically, she's a CR 10ish creature with at least 16 class levels in Zealot Barbarian and 2 in Fighter, and she has a custom Artifact level weapon so she's ABSURD) who laid waste to the Hells' forces. Until one day she found a succubus hiding in Elysium, and was about to kill her but realized the succubus made no move to fight back. This got her curious. The succubus explained that she wanted no part of the war, she only used the chaos surrounding it to make her escape from the violence and backstabbing and politics of the hells, and just wanted to get away from the conflict. Lailah was unable to kill a being she could see was not evil, and instead she listened and began to sympathize. What are now succubi used to be angels themselves, called Eros, and were made to bring love to mortals. But you cannot touch a life without it touching you back. And the gods felt that the touch of mortals had changed the Eros from what they were created to be, and they became beings ruled by passion rather than order, so they were cast out from the heavens and became Succubi.

You can see how quickly I started diverging from DND lore into building my own mythology for everything.

Anyway, Lailah and the succubus became briefly entangled, and the more Lailah learned about the succubus' past, the more it troubled her that it sounded like she had been wronged. The Eros were created for a purpose, and then punished for carrying it out. And in the moment Lailah began to wonder if it was the gods themselves who were wrong, she was burned herself and fell from Elysium. She was cast out and landed in Malbolge as an Erinyes. There she met another Erinyes who had been waiting for her. A former Movanic Deva from Arborea who had the gift of second sight (and I have a LOT of mythology developed around the nature of time and fate and the relationship between potential and possibility and branching timelines because of this character) and knew she had to fall herself in order to help Lailah raise her daughter.

Surprise! Lailah's pregnant. So Lailah spent the next ~4 years with this other fallen angel in the Nine Hells, where her little ember of hope in the darkness was born, and she named the ember Ash.

Eventually Lailah and Ash were able to leave, and they ended up in a wild, untamed forest in a forgotten corner of Ravnica. Ash grew up in the woods where she met another little tiefling from the druid village nearby, and they became best friends. So Ash and Aria have known each other their whole lives.

For reasons I left open to my DM, Lailah went missing when Ash was 15. She and Aria couldn't get help from the druids and made their own plans to go to the city on their own, and they ended up making a home there. Ash became a leather worker and Aria primarily works in animal rehab. They live in a big tree that Aria grew herself into a living home, with their two familiars (Hades and Persephone), their familiars' kittens, and a rotating cast of animals. Hannah the Possum has become an infamous side character in campaign for sneaking away from her babies to steal peanut butter and other treats from the cupboards.

Anyway, the campaign itself involves our characters joining a transguild organization that helps mediate inter-guild conflicts on Ravnica and work as ambassadors to visitors from other planes, because in our version of Ravnica a lot of permanent planar portals have been opening up in recent times (we're about 5 years after the War of the Spark in the MTG timeline, which is INCREDIBLE because it means our DM accidentally predicted the Omenpaths in the post-March of the Machines story several years in advance, and that's FAR from the only time she's been ahead of Magic Story). We're also dealing with the fact that the players have started sparking, because it turns out we're all (except possibly Ash) Planeswalkers. Ash, being a full blooded magical creature descended from two fallen angels from the Outer Planes, may have an innate inherited ability to traverse planes without a spark, but that remains to be discovered in game.

As part of writing Ash's backstory, I created additional backstory for Aria. She was part of her own adventuring party 5-6 years ago, and her group became widely known, feared, and respected for handling jobs beyond the ability of most adventuring groups. And I basically backstoried a whole other campaign into existence, culminating in that group actually taking part in the War of the Spark by fighting Bontu, one of the god eternals. I could spend another 6,000 words on a play by play but the tl;dr is that my tieflings are polyamorous and Aria was in a relationship with a newly sparked Planeswalker at the time, and she watched that partner die in front of her when Bontu harvested her spark. Aria went into a blind rage, used Shapechange to turn herself into a gold dragon, and then had a kaiju battle with a zombie god while the rest of her team scrambled to keep her, and themselves, alive. Fen (Arcana cleric) came up with the idea to pin Bontu down with Immovable rods, and the two martial classes in the party had to get close to help do it. One of those was Cass, a dhampir soulknife rogue/shadow monk who was born on Fiora but made her way to Ravnica by way of Dominaria sometime before The Great Mending made planar travel inaccessible to non-planeswalkers. Cass had to bite Bontu for a boost of strength (because she's Dex based), but in the chaos Bontu also managed to grab HER, which created an unusual feedback loop where the Elderspell tried to pull the soul out of her body, but since she was resurrected by extraordinarily powerful necromancy (which is how she became a vampire, after she was murdered on the night of her arranged wedding), her soul is a bit more stuck to her body than most, so by feeding on Bontu's blood, she actually managed to survive long enough for Aria to make Bontu let go, leaving Cass with a "dislocated" soul and, in the process of siphoning Bontu's essence, she accidentally acquired one of the stolen sparks (most likely that of Aria's lover). Because the Immortal Sun was on at the time, and her soul was not quite right, that spark didn't activate until a week or so later.

AAAAAAAAAAANYWAY, I'm obsessed with vampires so obviously Cass was my favorite character that I made for Aria's backstory party, so I ended up giving Cass her own backstory, wherein she was born to a failing mob family as the only one who could produce an heir, but she was too gay and moody (and psionic) to be okay with that, so her father plotted with the father of her arranged husband to have her killed. Her maidservant (who she was in love with), Gisella Bathori, overheard them laughing about it on the night of the wedding and tried to save her, but was fatally stabbed in the process. Ella used her dying breath to carve a sigil into the floor - a very powerful sigil based in the magic of creation itself, which rearranges the energy of the Prime Spheres into intent, and with a little blood (okay a LOT of blood, much of it her own), she begged the universe to "not let Cassandra die". So Cass wakes up in the back of a truck before her killers can dump her body, and long story short she kills a guy, goes home and finds Ella's body, fails to understand how the sigil worked, and then kills all of the people who just got to her house (the other two men who helped kill her plus a lawmaster and finally her father) before cleaning herself up, taking some essentials and valuables, kicking one of the bodies for good measure, and running away forever. She spends the next few days hunting down the rest of both families before escaping the city and finding her way to Dominaria (and ultimately Ravnica).

So Cass is my backstory character's backstory character. And I LOVE her. Also, when Cass kicked that last body? she shuffled some blood around and triggered the sigil again without knowing it. So unbeknownst to her, Ella ALSO got raised as a vampire. And she didn't find out about it until her spark activated 122 years later and she ended up back on Fiora.

SO.

Obviously. I backstoried pretty fucking hard. And got really attached to these characters. And what basically happened is I started developing this alternate version of my characters' story that ran parallel to (but significantly diverged from) the campaign. So I had this running in my head for a while and was calling it "story mode" for like "this is how these characters and their stories would work if they existed ENTIRELY inside my own mythology and worldbuilding instead of playing within the mechanics and narrative structure of a DND campaign" and eventually that started spinning faster and faster until it developed its own magnetosphere and became a whole world. And then a multiverse for that world to fit in.

Lailah in Story Mode was not a Deva, she was a Brachiel: an angel of storm and lightning, which falls under the "Emanations" (middle) tier in my angelology (as did the Eros). Eternity may address Ash as a "Daughter of Emanations". And while Ash might come off as having a little bit of a "half angel half devil" vibe at first, strictly speaking what she actually is is a BORN fallen angel, a being caught somewhere between two Prime elements, and ends up self-actualizing as a secret, third thing, because nothing born can live forever and while she is biologically pure fallen angel, she was not CREATED through divine means as angels were, she was born as a mortal. She's a little bit complicated because she looks like one thing (the equivalent of a tiefling) but that's not really what she is, and what she really is is a lot harder to explain in a neat and digestible way. Which is why I've said in tags that she kinda comes off as baby's first OC if you only know the elevator pitch (her parents were an angel and a succubus) but the reality is a lot more complicated in a much more interesting way that's not super easy to explain unless you're telling it to a person who already wants to listen.

So now I have a whole story in my head about a woman who just wants to find her mom, but she's caught up in this grand threat to the multiverse itself, when all she wants is a nice quiet life with her family but she lives in a world where the veil between the realms only thinned recently, and the magical "races" are all humans who were variably affected by the energies of different worlds, and some are viewed less favorably than others (the aasimar equivalent are sometimes called "blessings" because their parents view it as such to have a child influenced by the divine, while the tiefling equivalent are seen as about what you'd expect, etc). So there's vibes of marginalization and surviving in a world that isn't super thrilled that you exist, and mommy issues, and a theocratic government that's not great and is secretly using the power of faith to try to turn the head of state into a god, and all the while my poor beleaguered angel's bastard has to cope with the fact that a god on a level her tiny electric meatball consciousness cannot BEGIN to comprehend just asked her for help, (because, in her words, "𝔱𝔥𝔢 𝔪𝔬𝔬𝔫 𝔞𝔫𝔡 𝔱𝔥𝔢 𝔱𝔦𝔡𝔢 𝔡𝔬 𝔫𝔬𝔱 𝔰𝔢𝔢 𝔱𝔥𝔢 𝔬𝔠𝔢𝔞𝔫 𝔞𝔰 𝔭𝔩𝔞𝔫𝔨𝔱𝔬𝔫 𝔡𝔬; 𝔴𝔢 𝔨𝔫𝔬𝔴 𝔱𝔥𝔢 𝔯𝔦𝔭𝔭𝔩𝔢, 𝔟𝔲𝔱 𝔬𝔫𝔩𝔶 𝔶𝔬𝔲 𝔠𝔞𝔫 𝔟𝔯𝔢𝔞𝔨 𝔱𝔥𝔢 𝔴𝔞𝔳𝔢") and now she's stuck working with a handful of other people who were ALSO assigned to this task, and all of it sucks but at least her long-suffering wife is there to kick some ass while she pretends her own trauma isn't destroying her from the inside.

(To get more technical, There's A Big Problem™ and while the Outer Gods have orders of magnitude more power than they'd need to fix it, souls are concentrated areas of the Potential of Creation and have a kind of WEIGHT to them, metaphysically, that influences the world around them (which is how magic works), and a fragment of creation as "large" as an Outer God would effectively alter reality around itself on such an enormous scale, almost like gravitational lensing, that for them to interfere in our layer of the multiverse that directly would essentially reorder existence around their presence to a degree that they deem unacceptable. So between not having a great perspective of what the problem is DOING to our layer and not being able to really ENTER the layer of existence where the problem needs to be solved, they need a solution that can operate on the correct scale to restore the balance without causing unfathomable catastrophic collateral damage in the process, and thus, The Gods Need Our Help™. And the characters have to figure out how to deal with this while navigating their own problems in a world that's got its own human sized bullshit going on. THAT is the story I want to write. Cass might have her own story as a book 2. Empath, a story I used to tag about sometimes and involves a spaceship I invented the concept for based on real math that allows it to only exist outside of itself, would be book 3.)

Two of the other ensemble cast are heavily adapted from characters from the campaign, one a pretty direct translation of a PC and the other a cross between another PC and an NPC, both of whom have awkward crushes on the aforementioned PC, and the NPC in particular gives off the most intense friends to enemies to friends to lovers yearning vibes I have ever seen in my fucking LIFE, and the new character I've spawned out of those two is going to be sort of like a siren with synesthesia, so bask in the flavor of THAT concept for a hot minute. If you even care.

Basically there's going to be a "main character" for each of the colors in the cosmogony, and that will be important in ways you don't need to think about right now.

Hey did you know that wizards suck, actually?

So anyway the Uneiverse is basically a multiverse in which the Prime Spheres represent the basic elements of creation, and from them the Composite Spheres were created, each a combination of two (or more? currently I only have the two-color combinations named) of those elements, and as creation divides and recycles itself in a grand eternal process of revision and recombination, you have the Inner Spheres which make up the multiverse as MTG imagines it: an infinite cosmos of varied realms, made of all the elements in minutely different quantities and combinations.

And in one of those realms sits a hectic little world called Une, where a lot of things get weird and a scared little girl just wishes her mom was here to make it all better.

[londonfoginacup]

7, 8 and a wildcard of your choice for those anxious asks (haha) - PLS AND THANK YOUUUUU! Okay my computer just put that into all caps but you know what? I'mma let it stand. If those don't spark joy or you've already done them, just swap them out for whatever you want!! xox

7. How many ideas for fics do you have right now?

If writing were my full time job and I was able to do it all day every day, I think I could still not get written every fic that's in my brain right now

What project(s) are you currently working on?

I'm plotting out my advent fic for Christmas, plus a smaller Christmas oneshot, plus I'm doing a sequel to my Halloween fic from... either last year or the year before? for Halloween this year. Whichever one the toothpick fic was. And I'm writing wordplay today, and I've been revisiting a fic I wanted to write for Big Bang a few years ago to see if I could maybe write it for BB this year, oh and I signed up for Soulmates but I don't have any actual plans yet, so hopefully that one comes to me soon. So... those are my immediate fic plans.

29. Share a bit from a fic you’ll never post

Rarely, if ever, would deserters make it across the border without being caught, and that’s when they were brought to Louis. They always come eager to give up any and all information about their country, they’re not afraid of where they’ve been brought. They think they’re survivors. The warriors, on the other hand, would cross boldly, day or night. They believe that they are doing their country a boon, fighting off the slowly encroaching south. They have no fear. This one's not either of those. He's clearly trying so hard to keep himself still but it's doing nothing for him. His breath is coming out in little huffs through his nose and there's a good chance the underside of that blindfold is wet with tears. When Louis walks forward, his steps echoing around the small room, the boy does everything he can to shrink in on himself, make himself appear smaller. With his gangly frame, all he really manages is to look like a twisted spider. This isn't one for me to break, Louis thinks. This looks like one I'll have to put back together. He is who he needs to be. To the rescued he is a kind face and a gentle reassurance. To the warriors, he is who they fear. He doesn't know who he has to be to this boy, though. He hasn't gotten one like this before. He leans down so that his lips are directly next to the ear of the quivering boy. "Hello, Love," he says. It isn't his gentle voice. It's a voice meant to send a warning; if you are not who you say you are, I will find out. "Nod if you want me to rip the duct tape off, shake your head if you want me to pull it slowly." His voice drips condescension, just as he means it to. The boy freezes when Louis starts to talk, probably another wave of adrenaline giving him a few moments of control. He's still for a moment and Louis waits patiently until the boy tentatively jerks his head back and forth. Warriors always take the faster option. They want a swift death, don't think they'll survive to see sunrise so might as well end it before something worse comes. That's how they're trained. This boy isn't a warrior.

[killerlookz]

Joby Taylor: NSFW alphabet (f! reader)

a/n: i feel like nsfw posts are lacking for joby and honestly i dont think i've seen anyone write an nsfw alphabet for him, so im taking this into my own hands bc im a whore for this greasy dirtbag of a man

warnings: 18+ content!! literally PURE smut!! if ur a minor GO AWAY

A- Aftercare (what they're like after sex)

I'll be frank with you, Joby doesn't really have much of a clue on how to care for someone after sex. He's probably not going to baby you afterward, he's not even really sure wtf aftercare is.

He will on the other hand definitely hold you next to him, the two of you still naked and sweaty underneath the sheets. He'll wrap an arm around your shoulders, and hold you close while he smokes a cigarette, careful not to let the ash fall in your hair. He'll press some kisses against your hair and the crown of your head between drags of his cigarette, and they're probably pretty loud and obnoxious too. (He'll also probably sneakily slip in an "I love you" or "You're so pretty" here and there)

B- Body part (favorite part of their partner's body, and their body)

Joby Taylor is a rockstar, so he's going to fall into a little bit of a stereotype here, he loves your tits holy shit. The way they look when you wear an all-too-tight tank top. How they spill out of that ratty cut-up old Snake Trouble shirt you have. How they bounce when he's fucking you. He loves grabbing, and kneading the tender flesh, literally whenever. Not even just during sex. Like his hands are all up on your tits at ALL TIMES. Ugh, and getting your nipples hard and sensitive maybe with his tongue, or his teeth, or his fingers. Yeah he's obsessed. Major tit man for sure.

His favorite part of himself is his hands without a doubt. He's got nice, veiny hands and long fingers, so yeah of course they're his favorite. He loves the way they look when he puts on his chunky rings and messy black nail polish. Obviously, they're how he plays his guitar and writes his music. And a little less innocently he loves using them on you. Loves to make you squirm as he pushes his fingers up into you, and he knows how to use them just right.

C- Cum (anything to do with cum, basically)

Joby doesn't have much of a bias on as to where he cums honestly, as long as he gets to do it period. But, if I'd have to say, he probably likes cumming inside of you the most, whether its your cunt (as long as you're on the pill, he is not prepared to have another child) or your mouth. He loves to watch his cum drip out of your cunt, or to make you stick your tongue out for him to show him that you swallowed everything after you suck him off.

But if he's feeling real dirty, he likes to cum on your tits. We've already established he's a tit man, so, this is a no brainer. Either he'll take himself out of your mouth last second after a blowjob, or just plain old jerk himself off on top of you in order to cover your tits with his cum. It just drives him wild marking you like that.

D- Dirty secret (self explanatory, a dirty secret of theirs)

Joby likes being choked...... I have to say it. Not like suuuuper kinky or hella submissive way like, to the point where you're REALLY cutting off any air. But he loves when you put your hands around his neck while you're riding him, or while you're making out. Just the little bit of pressure you place right under his jaw sends shivers down his spine and has him SPIIIIRALINGGGG.

E- Experience (how experienced are they? do they know what they’re doing?)

Fuck yeah, Joby is experienced alright. Back in Snake Trouble's heyday, even if they still were playing relatively smaller shows, man definitely had groupies up the fucking walls. Knowing what he's doing on the other hand... is a different story. Hate to say it but, the man is a bit of a douche so, fucking different chicks every night, he was mainly just focused on his own pleasure, honestly. You're gonna need to show him the ropes a little, show him how to properly use what he's got. But once you do, holy shit, sex. fucking. god.

F- Favorite position

Being on top of you, tbh. He's a bit of a simple man when it comes to positions but there's nothing he loves more than hovering over you while he fucks into you. He loves that he can see pretty much all of you that way, he can see the way your jaw slacks when you moan his name, and your eyes struggle to stay open. He especially loves how he can see how your tits bounce up and down with each thrust. And of course he loves watching you squirm under him.

G- Goofy (are they more serious in the moment? are they humorous? etc.)

Joby's pretty serious during sex, I take it he has a pretty dry sense of humor anyway, so he's not going to be cracking jokes, or going out of the way to make you laugh. He will though, say little things to get you flustered and worked up, making you giggle as your cheeks grow bright red. But making you laugh laugh is really not for Joby.

H- Hair (how well groomed are they? does the carpet match the drapes? etc.)

Eh, he's decently groomed. I don't think it's like WILD or anything, but he's definitely not clean-shaven. A little trim here and there too keep things comfy and breathable and that's good enough for him.

I- Intimacy (how are they during the moment? the romantic aspect)

It takes a goood loooong while for Joby to become a real intimate/romantic sort of guy. When you two first meet and start hooking up he was definitely very casual about the way he fucked you. Starting out he never really paid any particular attention to being super affectionate, or passionate even. But as the two of you grow closer, and he begins to trust you, and gradually sheds his fear of commitment and relationship insecurity, yeah, he becomes pretty intimate.

Now, he loves giving you hot, passionate kisses while he fucks into you. He loves holding you close and groping at your flesh. Mumbling against your neck or your lips, Fuck, I love you so much, you're so good. Or just telling you how beautiful you are, and that you're all his.

J- Jack off (masturbation headcanon)

Before he met you? Definitely jerked it at least once a day, maybe quickly when he woke up, or right before he goes to bed, just, a decent amount yk? After he meets you though, eh, not so much, especially if you're living together, then what does he need to jerk off for? You feel so much better than his hand.

K- Kink (one or more of their kinks)

Spitting/marking FOOOOR SURE. Loves making you open your mouth for him while he's above you and spitting into it, making sure you swallow. Spitting on your pussy before he enters you with either his fingers or his cock? Yup. Yup. Yup. Watching the spit drip from your mouth after you suck on his cock or his fingers.... ohhh yeah, drives him insane. He'll even let you spit on him (or in his mouth)

Oh and marking yeah, another one, marking. He loves marking you, he's just *a tad* possessive so, leaving hickeys all over your neck and chest, his handprints on your ass, and bruises on your thighs from holding you so hard... oh he is soooo into it. And loves when you mark him too, he'll wear loose v-neck shirts to show off the hickeys you leave on his neck, and absolutely looooves when you scratch up his back while he's fucking you.

L- Location (favorite places to do the do)

Bed, tbh, nothing can beat fucking you in bed for Joby. But honestly, he's a total sucker for doing it on the green room couch before or after a show (he's not really into exhibitionism but the thrill of one of his bandmates being able to walk in at any time drives him a little wild), or..... in the car...... he really has a thing for car sex... tbh.

M- Motivation (what turns them on, gets them going)

essentially, anything you do. But, ESPECIALLY when you bicker with him, oh he's such a stubborn little asshole, and he doesn't exactly change his ways around you, but it is TOTALLY on purpose. He loves your witty little comebacks and remarks when he tries to get smart with you, the way you immediately put him in his place.... ohhhh it drives him absolutely INSANE that he wants to just take you right then and there to shut your smart little mouth up.

He also gets real in the mood watching you at his shows, watching you dance in the crowd, knowing every word to all of his songs. The way your clothes cling to your body as you swing your hips, screaming along, your eyes not moving from joby, YEP, he's hard right there, on stage. Good thing he can wear his guitar down low enough to cover his straining erection.

N- No (something they wouldn’t do, turn offs)

Anything that involves truly hurting you. Joby can be into rough sex at times, but, he'd never really cause any real pain to you aside from light stinging from playful spanking, and biting. He's not the type to want to slap you across the face, or choke you until you can't breathe. He just doesn't have it in him, he may look tough, but he could never ever truly hurt you.

O- Oral (preference in giving or receiving, skill, etc.)

Joby definitely prefers receiving, he loooves when you go down on him, honestly, blowjobs are one of his absolute favorite sex acts. He loves watching you sink onto your knees, as your hands playfully palm him over his tight jeans before you unbuckle his belt and begin to suck on his cock. He loves grabbing fistfuls of your hair, and pushing you down onto him, controlling your pace. You just feel so good with your mouth wrapped around him, he can't ever get enough.

He has no problem giving though, it is such an ego boost having you squirm around while he digs his fingertips into your thighs, desperately trying to keep your legs open as he licks up and down your folds. He's absolutely entranced by the pretty noises you make while he licks and sucks on your cunt. And when you cum on his tongue, ugh, it's over for him, he's obsessed, making you orgasm SO HARD with only his tongue does absolute wonders for his ego, so, he's game to eat you out whenever you want it.

P- Pace (are they fast and rough? slow and sensual? etc.)

He fluctuates really! He usually goes at a nice medium pace, bordering between romantic and rough. He likes both, just depends on the mood the two of you are in. After a nice date, he'll probably take his time with you, lots of foreplay and careful touches before hot, sensual sex that lasts for what feels like hours on end. Or, the two of you will get home from a show and he's bending you over the kitchen counter the moment you walk through the door, pulling your panties down and fucking you right then and there because you just looked oh so sexy singing along to every word of his songs that he really just cannot help himself.

Q- Quickie (their opinions on quickies, how often, etc.)

Loves quickies! A quick fuck before a show, maybe right after you wake up before work, fucking you before your dinner reservations that you're already late for because he just cannot get over the way you look. Obviously he loves taking his time with you and he couldn't survive solely on quickies but they get the job done, and honestly, he thinks they're really hot.

R- Risk (are they game to experiment? do they take risks? etc.)

For the most part, yes. If you're ever like, "hey can we try x,y,z" he's probably game. He's not the kinkiest guy but he's definitely not vanilla either, it just depends! He's not gonna want to do anything too taboo though, I kind of feel like he gets grossed out a tad easily.

S- Stamina (how many rounds can they go for? how long do they last?)

Joby is by no means old, he's only, what? In his late 20s? So his stamina is pretty good. Maybe two-three rounds, definitely not as long as when he was 20/21 but he's obviously still got it. I'd just say he doesn't last as long as he used to be he doesn't take care of himself very well and he smokes which causes him to lose his breath a bit easier!

T- Toys (do they own toys? do they use them? on a partner or themselves?)

Joby himself does not own any toys, but if you own any, he's decently game to use them on you. I can't really see him fucking you with a dildo or anything, but teasing you with gently pressing a vibrator to your clit... yeah, he could be into that for sure ;)

U- Unfair (how much they like to tease)

Oh, come on, look at him, he LOOOOVES to tease. Getting you all worked up is his absolute specialty. Not the type at all to leave you high and dry, he'll always finish what he started, but he just loves watching you get all flustered and squirmy. Watching you blush and wiggle around underneath his grasp just makes him so <333

V- Volume (how loud they are, what sounds they make, etc.)

He's not super loud, and his noises are definitely in the lower range, no high-pitched yelps or anything. But he'll grunt and groan into your neck while he's fucking you, and let out deep, loud sighs when you sink your mouth down around his cock.

W- Wild card (a random headcanon for the character)

This is a bit of a silly headcanon, but it's still within the whole nsfw realm, but this man, TOTALLY has a thing for nipple piercings. He wants to get them for himself, but he's a little chicken cause he's heard they hurt like a bitch. But, if his partner has them, holy hell, he's fucking obsessed he thinks they're so fucking hot. He likes to feel the cool metal between his teeth or on his tongue while he nips at your breasts. Sometimes he'll play with the piercings just to tease you (after they're fully healed of course, he'll stay away when they're in the healing process he KNOWS how much healing body mods hurt)

And he just loves the way they look <33 when the little metal bars poke out through your shirt when you're not wearing a bra, or when your tits are just out bare, it drives him insane.

X- X-ray (let’s see what’s going on under those clothes)

Okay, he doesn't have like a horse cock or anything but he's not small either. Somewhere between 5 and 6 inches hard, but not super thick. More of a shower than a grower tbh, his size doesn't change too drastically when he's hard and maybe a slight curve to the left but just barely.

Y- Yearning (how high is their sex drive?)

Absolutely insane, the two of you definitely are fucking once a day, at least. He's a rockstar (even if he is a little washed up), so being horny is just IN his DNA. He might be a little annoying at times with how horny he is, but, never to a point where you feel uncomfortable or forced. You love fucking him anyways, so it's not too much of a problem.

Z- Zzz (how quickly they fall asleep afterwards)

If you are fucking after a show, nearly immediately. He will be SOOO exhausted. But normally, if it's at night, maybe 45 minutes to an hour afterward he'll be fast asleep. Sex doesn't drain him too too much, but, he can't deny, he loves his sleep, and what's better than a good night's sleep after having some bomb sex?

a/n: okay! omg! my first time ever writing an nsfw alphabet so i hope i did alright <3 and i hope you enjoyed my personal projections for Joby <33

[weebsinstash]

Possible yandere Kakashi head cannons? 👀

Oh gosh I'll have to revisit this post if I ever start rewatching Naruto, but I can take a swing from what I remember! I might be totally wrong on some parts though...

-ok so let's get heavy right off the bat. His father literally killed himself and Kakashi was the one to find him like that. Naturally he's going to be extremely proactive if he finds out you're doing any self-harming behaviors or have any suicidal ideation. Since he has his own hands full with his job as a Jonin and squad leader, he probably wouldn't be above having you admitted to a hospital so you'll at least be safe in one place while he's coming and going from the village. He'll get you out eventually when he can either trust you with yourself, or safely leave you elsewhere (perhaps with a clone of his. If you can't overpower the clone, it's technically kind of permanant, right?)

-he'll probably tell you some actual threats or actual things he's done under the guise of joking around. You know, how he can say really fucked up or serious stuff with a smile? Or how he says ridiculous shit so deadpan?

"Hey Hatake, haven't seen you around in a while! What have you been up to?"

"Oh, I've been around. You just haven't been able to see me :)"

-do you. Do you think he would write erotic fanfiction of him and his darling. Actually yes I think I like this idea. Icha Icha Paradise or whatever the fuck it was called would always make him red in the face and shit, he was INTO it. I can imagine him becoming flustered as he hunches over his desk in the odd hours of the night writing FILTH

-probably writes some like vanilla shit like you being his secretary and him the boss that you know, pays you down by laying you down. Nothing hard-core but he turns into a tomato over it and if you ever found and read the stories, he would absolutely die

-his ninja puppies though! He's already got an unbeatable tracking team if he ever needs to find you by scent or anything. I also imagine they'd just have a very odd but cute sense of loyalty to you as the person Kakashi is attached to, though obviously if he were to, say, need to turn them against you, they obey their master first and foremost. Imagine waking up in an entire bed of ninja dogs though 🥺🥰 actually he may even "leave them at home" with you to babysit?

-i don't actually see Kakashi being above physical punishment. I don't see him breaking your bones or anything unless you made him but I imagine if the situation called for it he would, like, slug ya til ya dropped or anything, at least given that you're another trained ninja putting up resistance or anything like that. If he has to deal with your punches and kicks until you tire out, so be it

-i mean, there's probably jutsu for everything, and if it doesn't exist already, you can create it, given the time and knowledge. Do with that what you will. The possibilities are endless and in the wrong hands that is absolutely terrifying

-actually coming back to this, his talent in lightning jutsu makes me think he could probably make something on a smaller scale that could be used for paralysis 😳 subdue and contain, right?

-god we're actually gonna have a cameo here: you know who would be the first to fucking, bail Kakashi out or help him if you tried to start some shit. MIGHT GUY. If you ever gave Kakashi the slip, just hope you don't bump into this jumpsuited-up freak. He's stupid but he's not stupid, you know? If you're on your way to try to escape, well, he just knows his ol buddy will be so down about it! What about their flaming rivalry if the silver Jonin is all depressed over you? Now Guy is the one who's going to "accidentally" break your fucking leg, and with such gusto. Don't worry, it'll heal! Pain is what makes a ninja grow! Kakashi is great at wound care, he would know!

-i think I would genuinely be ready to fight if I was minding my own business and a trio of 12 year olds came up to me like "are you dating our sensei?" and asking a bunch of personal questions. We all remember the mask episode. Those kids are curious as fuck and they have little boundaries when they're focused on a goal. They start asking you about "how did you like visiting *a place you went on a mission to recently*" without you even bringing it up and Kakashi just waves from a nearby tree or some shit and he obviously talks about you to these kids all the time 💀💀💀

-he'll take off his mask and show you his face completely unprompted. You're in a room together filing some papers away or filing completion forms out for missions as you chat back and forth and suddenly, there's his face???? The face basically no one knows what it looks like, not even his own students??? And the second someone comes in, you blink and his mask is back on again. He clearly prefers to keep it on, so what is it about you that's so different?

-would honestly try to dissuade you from being a shinobi if you are one or are trying to become one. There's just so much death and war and espionage and even child soldiers. He doesn't want that life for you 🥺 I can imagine he would. How would I put this. Have an Aizawa moment? Say some shit like "since you can't be a ninja anymore, the only next logical conclusion would be to settle down with me.". Says it very matter-of-factly like explaining a math problem. You + him = a very skilled Jonin with PTSD and abandonment issues who decides if keeping you like a bird in a cage will keep you safe and sound that he is perfectly just in doing so

[callsign-magnolia]

I Hope You Dance // Ch. 10

MATURE CONTENT (18+)

A/N: This is cross posted to my Wattpad, so if this seems familiar that is why!

TW: Mental abuse, emotional abuse, slight physical abuse, death and loss.

Description: When Caila meets Rooster, sparks fly. But, she's already married, to a man who she thought loved her, and won't let her go. Rooster will fight for her, he just has to convince Caila to fight for herself.

Word Count: 6.0k

Chapter 9 | Masterlist

"What about these?" I asked holding up some Salvia. "They need full to partial sunlight so that'll be good with the way the sun goes down." He looked at them. He's been enjoying this, he was picking up any plant he thought his mom would've loved and I had to convince him to put a few back. "They come back yearly, so they won't need to be replanted next year." He nodded and set it on the large cart. 

"You also said something about a tree?" I nodded. "Something smaller, no towering pines." He chuckled as we strolled through the row of trees, some already standing as tall as Rooster. "Blue Jacarandas are good. They aren't huge but they grow tall enough for shade, or even a western redbud." I looked to him and he was leaning on the handle, staring at me. "What?" He came over slowly, wrapping his arms around my waist. "Which one do you like?" I hummed as I leaned my head back on his shoulder, placing my hands over his. "This is your house, hun." He kissed my head. "And it'll be yours whenever you move in." I smiled at the thought. "Who said I was moving in?" I teased. 

"I did, because when we come back, you're never leaving." I chuckled. "So pick, pretty girl. I'll buy you whatever you want." He whispered in my ear, tickling it and making me giggle. "I don't know, it's such a tough decision." He chuckled and kissed my temple. "We don't have to get one today. We can think on it." I nodded. "Yeah, I may have convinced you to spend too much money anyway." He chuckled. "You could never."

~~~

It was getting late and Rooster and I laid back in his yard, absolutely filthy, covered in dirt. "I never thought that as an adult, I would enjoy playing in the dirt." I laughed at his words. "Like I said, it's therapeutic!" He sat up and nodded, patting my thigh and leaving his hand there. "It really is." He leaned onto his side, smiling down at me. "Is this what it's going to be like?" He asked and I raised a brow. "So, domestic?" I chuckled. "I mean, we can not renew our contracts and just travel around the country in the airstream." He chuckled. "How about we renew the contracts, because I know neither of us are done yet, and we can travel around in the airstream in our off time." I laughed and nodded. "Sounds like a plan." My eyes flicked down to his lips, noticing them getting closer. 

Before I could say anything he kissed me, I could feel so many emotions behind it. Passion, intensity, love. I couldn't resist, I slid my arms around his shoulders, pulling him closer as one of his held my side as another one slid under my back. He deepened the kiss as he pulled me up to straddle his lap. His kisses moved along my cheek to my jaw, his hands shifting to grab my hips, squeezing them. I leaned my head back, giving him more access to my neck, my breathing picking up. "Oh, look at you pretty girl." He muttered against my neck, placing wet opened mouth kisses along it. The name sending shivers up my spine. His hands drifted from my waist, under my shirt and up my back. 

His hands covered my entire upper back, making me feel so small compared to him, and I loved it. A moan escaped my lips as he ground his hips into mine, allowing me to feel how hard he was. Suddenly he easily popped my bra open, unhooking all three hooks with ease. "Let's get this off you." He came back up to kiss me as he slid the bra straps off my shoulder and I yanked it out from under my shirt. "Goddamn. You're a fucking dream, honey." My face burned at the compliment. He leaned forward, holding me close to him until he gently placed me on the ground. I ran my hands up his chest, slowly pushing his shirt up until it came off, our lips separating just long enough for him to take it off. 

I felt like I was on fire, anywhere his lips were. He kissed down my neck again before gently pulling off my shirt, my nipples hardening at the cool San Diego night air. "Rooster." I moaned as he kissed along my chest, licking in a few spots. "Oh, say my name again." He muttered as he kissed between my boobs, and down to my navel. "Bradley." He moaned against my stomach as I said his name, his hands drifting lower to my waist to remove my shorts. "Fuck, baby girl. The things you do to me." I chuckled. "And what do I do to you Rooster?" I moaned out as he started sliding my shorts off. 

He grabbed my hand, taking it and laying it on top of the tent in his shorts. "You feel that?" He asked as he came up to kiss my lips again. "That's what you do to me. You make me so damn hard." I unbuttoned his shorts and he kicked them down his legs. "Come here." He muttered before pulling my hips closer, grinding into my damp core, making my whimper. "So needy honey? God, I love the noises your making." A shiver ran down my spine, making me wrap my arms around his neck and my knees come up by his waist. "Bradley." I moaned as he grabbed one of my legs, pulling it closer to his hip. "What is it, honey?" My body was so reactive to him, I've never felt like this. "Fuck me." 

He chuckled before standing with me, quickly walking into the house. He stumbled as he made his way to his bedroom. He laid me on the bed before yanking my black thong down my legs, tossing them somewhere. "Rooster." I moaned out and he chuckled lifting my left leg. "Oh, baby girl. I'm not going to fuck you." A whine escaped my throat. "I'm going to make love to you." He said as he placed a kiss on my ankle, just like he did when he tied my heels in San Francisco, before making his way up my calf. "I'm going to love you, until I'm the only name you remember." My back arched slightly at his words until he kissed up my thigh so close to my core. 

"I've waited so long for this." He said before placing a kiss on my soaking core, making me jump slightly. "Relax, pretty girl. I got you." I felt his tongue run up my folds making me moan loudly. He dragged his tongue up to my clit, circling it, making my body jolt. He wrapped his arms around my thighs, keeping my from squirming. "Rooster!" I cried as he sucked on my clit. "That's it, sweet girl. Cry for me." I gasped as he slid his tongue inside me, curling it. "Oh, fuck!" I tried backing away but he held me tightly as he buried his face in my pussy. I felt the knot in my stomach grow. "Come on, pretty girl. Come for me." After another minute I did, my back arching off the bed as he licked me clean. 

I was breathing heavy as he crawled up my body. "You okay?" I nodded as he cradled my face. "I'm good." He kissed my neck and chest for a minute, letting me catch my breath and I smirked. I quickly pushed him onto his back, straddling him and giving a body roll, grinding down onto his hard cock. "Wan' it." I moaned out and he chuckled, nibbling one of my breasts. Suddenly he flipped us again, pinning me to the bed. I furrowed my brows, "Don't you want me on top?" He chuckled and kissed down my neck. "Do you wanna be on top?" I thought on it, I've always been on top. I've never done anything different.

"You've never been on bottom?" I bit my lip and nodded. "Oh, baby girl. Let me show you what you're missing." He kissed me again before slowly sliding off his boxers. I felt him, rock hard against my thigh before he leaned over to his night stand, grabbing a condom. I watched as he rolled it on, before he kissed me again. "You sure you're okay with this?" He asked kissing his way across my cheek. I nodded as I grabbed his cheeks. "I'm so sure. I love you and I trust you Rooster." I leaned up and kissed him, smiling. 

He reached down, slowly slipping in. The burn was something I had never felt before, he hardly slipped the head in and I was grasping at his shoulders and biceps. "You okay?" He asked as he nuzzled into my neck. "Just keep going." I mumbled, and he did. Slowly pushing in more, making me whimper. "I know, honey. I know." He whispered in my ear. He was stretching me open and it was starting to feel good. "Fuck, Rooster." I moaned out as he finally bottomed out. 

He stilled for a moment, leaning up and kissing my temple, my forehead, my cheeks, my nose and then my lips. "I love you." I pulled him into another kiss as he slowly pulled out a little before pushing back in, making me moan against his lips. "You like that pretty girl?" I could only nod as a moan escaped my lips. "Come on, honey. Use your words." He said as one of his hands drifted to one of my breasts, gripping harshly. "Yes." I croaked out as he found a moderate pace. 

He leaned back on his knees, pulling my legs to rest over his hips. He grabbed my hips, driving into me almost carefully, I reached up and grabbed his wrists. My head tossed back as moans escaped my lips. "You take me so well, pretty girl. I've always wondered what you would look like under me, a fucked out look on your face." A moan flew out at his words, my hands letting his wrists go and trailing up my stomach, stopping just at my lower abdomen. I felt something shifting, I managed to open my eyes seeing Rooster smirking at me. One hand let go of my hip and laid over my hand, pressing it down slightly. 

"Yeah, you feel that? You feel me in you? God, you take my cock so well, honey." I pushed down a little harder, feeling him a little more. He started slamming into me a little harder, making my body shift on the bed. I cried out as he leaned over, taking one of my nipples between his teeth. His hand slid down between our bodies, rolling against my clit, making me jump. "Fuck!" I cried out as he leaned his head on my shoulder. One hand resting by my side, the other rolling my clit as he started slamming into me. I kept my hand on my stomach, still feeling him there, with every thrust I could feel him push against my hand. 

I felt my core tighten again, my second orgasm on the way. "That's it pretty girl, come around my cock. I wanna feel you." I moaned as he gave a particularly hard thrust. "I wanna hear all the noises you make, honey." I cried out as he rolled my clit, my back arching and my eyes clenching shut. I wanted to close my legs but Roosters body was preventing that, my body jerked as he kept thrusting into me. "S-shit! That's it, honey!" He said as he started thrusting a little faster but still being careful. 

He fucked me through my orgasm as he chased his. "So full." I muttered as I felt him inside me. "What was that, baby girl? I make you feel full?" He asked as he continued to drive himself into me. "I've dreamed of getting this pussy for years, and I'm finally gonna make you mine, honey." He sped up until his hips stuttered and he stilled inside me, filling the condom. His head was thrown back as he groaned. When he finished he leaned down, laying on top of me. We were both still catching our breaths as I ran one hand through his hair and my other along his spine. His wrapped around my waist, holding me close. 

"You have quite the mouth on you, Lieutenant." I swear I felt his cock twitch at the title. "What? Did you not like it?" He asked as he looked at me. "No actually, I love it. I've never had that type of experience in bed." He chuckled. "Please. I already hate the man, tell me he never failed at getting you off." I chuckled. "Never made me come once, I always had to do it myself after." He sat up and looked down at me. "You guys were together or over ten years and he never-" I shook my head. "I tried to show him one night and he massaged my thigh for fifteen minutes thinking it was my clit." He gave a loud, high-pitched laugh, almost rolling off the bed. 

"Thinking back on it now, it is pretty funny but at the time, I was pissed and in need of an orgasm!" He smirked at me. "So I'm better." I huffed and looked back to him. "I'm only going to feed your ego this one time. Yes, you are way better than Aaron ever was." He leaned down and kissed me. "And you like my mouth?" I bit my lip and nodded. "Never thought words to make my body react that way." He leaned down to my ear. "Then come on baby girl. I'd like to pull one more orgasm from you." I bit my lip as a shiver went up my body. "Mm, I don't know if I can do another." I said as I bit my lip. He chuckled and leaned down, kissing me. "You can give me another, pretty girl. I'll draw it out of you, now just lay still and look pretty for me." He said as his hand slid across my stomach and down to my core. 

~~~

I stayed with Rooster last night, not wanting to leave. As soon as we got up at four a.m. we both had texts from Mav. 

Sleep in, meet me on the beach behind the Hard Deck at ten a.m. dress for a workout, and make sure you don't mind your clothes getting wet.

Rooster and I rolled around in bed for awhile before going back to sleep for a few hours. When we got up I went and put on a sports bra, a white tank top and some navy bike shorts before meeting him back at his house. "You ready, honey?" He asked as he took my hand and kissed my temple. "Yeah." He helped me into the Bronco and we were off. 

As we arrived at the Hard Deck we could already see everyone out on the beach. Rooster came over to help me out, kissing my hand as he shut the door. We walked over and everyone cheered as we got closer. "All right, set your stuff down and I'll explain the exercise we're doing today." Mav ordered and I set my bag down next to Phoenix and Halo, when I looked up they were staring at me. "Somethings different about you, you're glowing." Phoenix said and Halo gasped coming close. "Are you pregnant?" My eyes widened and my heart broke just a little. "Halo!" Phoenix said pulling her back. "It's just a question." Phoenix rolled her eyes and looked to me. 

"No, I'm not. But I did stay with Rooster last night." I admitted and I thought Phoenix and Halo were going to bust my ear drums with their high pitched squealing. "Did you guys fuck?" I giggled a little a Phoenix's wording. "Yes. But if you ask him he wouldn't call it that." She grinned. "You made love all night long!" She sing songed and swung her hips making me laugh. "He has to be good in bed. Out of ten?" Halo asked and I grinned as I quickly Dutch braided my hair. "Fifteen." They were giddy at my words as Mav called us over. 

I walked over, still braiding my hair as I stood next to Rooster. His hand rested on my lower back before slipping lower, as soon as he wandered to my ass I let go of my hair and smacked his hand. "You okay Mag?" I nodded. "Thought I had a mosquito or something." Mav nodded as he explained the game, me having to restart on the braid I was working on. "This is dogfight football. You guys need to work as a team, and if you can't do that yourselves, then I'm going to teach you. We will have two teams and they will play offense and defense at the same time." I raised a brow as I finally finished the braid, dropping my arms over my chest. "I will set up the teams, and no swapping."

I stood in the line as Mav picked his two captains, Hangman and Rooster of course. "Caila, you're on Roosters team." I was the last to be picked but I was happy as I walked over, Rooster kissing my head as I walked by. We lined up, I was directly across from Coyote. "Actually, Fritz. You and Caila swap." A smirk grew on my face as we swapped, now I was directly across from Yale. "Ready for an ass whoopin'?" I asked, my accent becoming thick. He smirked as Mav blew the whistle. 

After a few games and figuring out everyone's strengths and weaknesses things fell into place. I was sprinting for the end zone as I turned back, Hangman threw the ball and I caught it. Making the end zone was easy as I was way ahead of everyone else, I turned to see Rooster run up on me. "WOO!" I yelled in his face as he stopped. "You're hot when your winning." He muttered and I smirked. "Hope you aren't letting me win Bradshaw." He chuckled. "Maybe, maybe not." I glared at him as we regrouped. I stood in front of Hangman to toss him the ball, Rooster and Bob just in front of me. 

Mav blew the whistle and I tossed the ball back between my legs, and sprinting past Bob, spearing Rooster who still had his ball. I sat up on my knees to see him gasping for air, "Oh! Rooster! I'm so sorry!" I said resting my hand on his stomach. He gave me a thumbs up as he tried to catch his breath. "He okay?" Mav asked, coming over. I ran my hands up his sides, feeling for any damage. "Ribs seem intact, no internal bleeding from what I can feel." I looked up to find Mav with a raised brow. "I hit him hard!" After a second he sat up, taking deep breaths. "I'm okay." 

"You should've been a linebacker." Penny said walking over with a small cooler. "Maybe." I said taking a water from her. "Your kids are gonna be star athletes." I nodded just taking a moment to look across the beach. As I looked there was a mom and her baby, a few months old. A few tears gathered and I took a deep breath. "I'm gonna take a walk." I said and everyone nodded. Thankfully Rooster was a busy talking with Bob and Coyote as I slipped away. I walked across the beach before sitting a little ways behind the mom and her baby, smiling as she dunked his little feet in the water. 

"Hitting hard today?" Phoenix asked as she came over and sat next to me. "Yeah, it's like everywhere I turn there is something about babies." She nodded and leaned her head on my shoulder, me leaning my head on hers. "You know, he would've been about that age now." She nodded rubbing my arm. "Probably would've been in some adorable swim shorts and a bucket hat." I wiped my eyes at the thought. "Hey." I looked up and saw Rooster who sat on my other side. "You okay?" He asked as I watched the mom run from the waves, making the baby laugh. "I will be." He took my hand, kissing my knuckles. He followed my line of sight to the mom and baby before leaning over and resting his chin on my shoulder. 

"You want kids?" He asked before kissing my shoulder. I looked over and smiled at him. "Yeah, you?" He nodded with a grin. "As many as we can get." I chuckled as I let him kiss me. "So I'm not a distraction anymore?" I nodded. "You still are, I'm just tired of keeping you at a distance." He smiled before kissing my neck sweetly. "Hey guys!" We looked to see Hangman motioning us over. We all got up and walked back, me feeling a little better. 

~~~

It was two and Mav released us for the day, saying we worked hard. We really did and I was in desperate need of a shower. "Caila!" Penny said rushing over. "Could you do me a favor?" I nodded as I grabbed my bag. "Could you get Amelia from school at three-thirty? Something came up." I raised a brow. "Maverick came up." She grinned widely. "Does it make me a bad mom?" I shook my head. "You deserve to be happy Penny. I'll get her." She nodded. "Thank you, she'll be so excited to see you!" I nodded and started walking towards the bronco. As I got up to it, Rooster was leaning against the hood. "What's up?" He asked nodding towards Penny who was now talking to Maverick. "She just asked me to get Amelia from school." I said as he helped me into the bronco.

"Her daughter?" I nodded. "She'll be like thirteen now, I think." He nodded as he got in. "Any plans after that?" I shrugged. "No, I figure I'll hang out with her for awhile. She's a fun kid." He held my hand on the center console the entire way home, the quiet was peaceful. As we got home I hurried to my house to shower before slipping on a sundress, it was white with small pink flowers on it, it was tea length with a slit up the thigh and spaghetti straps. I rushed back out to my jeep and took off to get Amelia. 

As I pulled up I heard the bell ring and kids flooded out the doors of the tall school building. I got out and stood by the jeep, looking for Amelia. After a moment she came out, her head down, a book clutched to her chest and two boys on either side of her, close to her face laughing at her. I was thrown back, experiencing the same thing at her age, and it went on for years. It was what drove me into Aarons arms. 

Drove me into Aaron's arms.

My chest clenched at the thought of Amelia having such low self-esteem that she wound up with someone like Aaron. Before I realized what I was doing I was storming over. "You're too ugly."  "Hey." I said lowly, catching the boys attention, their eyes widening as my wedges stomped on the pavement. "May I ask why your bullying her?" Amelia's eyes widened, giving me a pleading look. I motioned her over and she stood next to me, I turned her to face them, lifting her chin. The boys mouths opened and closed like fishes. "There is no reason. Whether you think she is pretty or not, you never talk down to somebody. Male, female or otherwise." They continued to stand and stare. "I think you two owe her an apology." They stared some more, almost scared. "Now." I threatened. 

"Sorry." One boy muttered and I huffed. "A formal apology, please." They huffed. "Amelia, we're sorry. We shouldn't have said those things." She kept her head down. "It's okay." She said quietly. "No, we never say it's okay. You accept apologies." She looked up to me and back to them. "I accept your apologies." They nodded and continued to stand there. "You may go boys, thank you for the apologies." They turned tail and ran off. I looked down to Amelia who had tears in her eyes and I sighed, pulling her into a hug. "I'm sorry, I shouldn't have gotten involved." She shook her head. "I'm so tired of them being mean to me." I took her bag and walked her over to the jeep, getting her in and putting her bag in the back. 

"Why were they picking on you?" I asked, wiping her tears across the console. "All the other girls are filling out and I haven't. That's how it started, then some kids overhead me telling Casey that I had a crush on this guy. He asked me out a few weeks ago, today he asked me to the fall semi-formal and I said yes." She started crying again and I grabbed her hand. "It was a joke wasn't it?" She nodded and my heart broke for her. "He said I was too ugly for him and I would never be enough." I bit my lip to hold back tears. "Where's mom?" I bit my lip. "She's out with an old friend, but if I called her I'm sure she'd come get you. Do you want me to call her?" She shook her head. "No."

We sat in silence for a moment as I thought up a game plan to make her feel better in my head. "It sucks, first mom made me cancel my movie plans with Casey and Bethany and now this." I furrowed my brows. "She made you cancel your plans?" She nodded. "She said it was because she had a surprise for me after school and that I wouldn't want to go to the movies anyway after I saw it." She looked to me and wiped her eyes. "No offense." I shook my head. "No, no you just gave me an idea. Call your friends, I'll take you three to the movies." She smiled. "You sure?" I nodded and brushed some hair away from her face. "You need your friends right now, so yes." 

Amelia called her friends and I picked them up from their houses. "I'm really sorry, Amelia. I didn't want to say anything if I wasn't sure." Bethany has been apologizing since she got in the car, she had a feeling it was a joke but was unsure. "It's really okay, Beth. It's not your fault." Casey scoffed from the back passenger seat. "I should've kicked his butt. He treated you like crap the entire time you were 'dating'. He ignored you, called you names and everything." I had to bite down the remark I had, 'We don't talk bad about children, Caila'. "Mom told me you divorced that crappy husband of yours." I chuckled and nodded. "Trying, he's been blocking it. But it's okay, I got me something better." Amelia chuckled. 

"A vibrator." My head whipped over to her. "AMELIA GRACE BENJAMIN!" She laughed at my reaction. "For your information, you're not incorrect but I got myself a better man." 'Ooh's' were heard over the wind whipping around us. "Caila's got a boyfriend." She sang and I nodded. "Can we meet him?" Amelia asked and I raised a brow. "Oh come on, you can't hide him from me. Besides I know his name already, just need a face now." I stayed silent for a moment before my phone was calling his through my speaker system. "Shh." I said as we waited. "Hey, pretty girl." "AW!" I chuckled as the cooed. "Hey, hun." 

"Sounds like you have a car full." I nodded. "Got room for one more if you wanna join us at the movies. I can swing by and get you." I heard him moving something around before he answered. "I'll do whatever as long as it's with you, honey." I nodded. "Be there in ten." "Alright, pretty girl. I love you." A blush crept up my cheeks as the girls giggled. "I love you too." I hung up. "You girls really need to work on being quiet." They laughed. "Why would we need to do that?" Bethany asked. "Girls, there is going to come a day where you're going to be snooping on a man or a woman, and you will be listening to your friends phone calls and scrolling through their socials. Gotta be quiet or else they'll know. Gotta be stealthy like the CIA!" They laughed at my words. 

We pulled into Rooster's driveway and I honked the horn. After a moment he came out looking gorgeous as ever in his dark wash Levi's, cream short sleeve henley, and a ball cap that sat backwards over his curls. He came to the drivers side and I raised a brow at him. "Out, I drive." I scoffed. "Think I'm a bad driver?" He shook his head. "Nope, I should just be driving you around. Can't have a pretty thing like you working too hard." I blushed as he opened the door. I slid out but he picked me up, my feet never touching the ground. I giggled as he walked me over to the passenger side, setting me in the seat since Amelia crawled to the middle seat in the back. 

He reached over and buckled me in, kissing me sweetly before shutting my door. I turned back to the girls who were all giggly and whispering. "Ladies." They looked to me with big grins. "That is how a man should treat you." He got into the drivers seat, taking my hand and kissing it before backing out and driving us to the theater. 

The girls wanted to see some comedy movie that came out a few weeks ago so we took them to that. Rooster and I sat a few rows behind them, mainly so they couldn't watch us because they're nosey. "So, why the movies?" I pursed my lips. "Some boy asked Amelia out as a joke and humiliated her. She was so upset, so I figured some time with her friends would be good for her." He tossed his arms around me and pulled me close. "God, boys can be such assholes." 

I nodded as I leaned into him. "Broke my heart, cause I've been in her position." He looked down to me. "You've been there?" I nodded. "Jackson Mahoney. Star quarterback, and world-class asshole." I wrung my hands together until he rested his hands over mine. "I didn't look like this back then, I was heavier, I had real bad acne. I was not the most beautiful girl in school." Rooster leaned down, kissing my cheek and burying his face in my cheek. "I call bullshit." I laughed. "He told me I was too ugly and too heavy for him. It wasn't the first time I had heard that but it was sort of my breaking point. My self-esteem plummeted, so when Aaron called me pretty." I shook my head. "Guys never paid me much attention but he did, and I ate it up." I looked up at him and I couldn't read his expression. 

"You basically said the same thing to me in that dressing room." I shook my head. "I still hate myself for that." He kissed my head. "Don't." I rested my head on his shoulder. "All those words basically pushed me into his arms. I saw the same thing happening with Amelia and I just, I couldn't stand by and let that happen to her." He cuddled into me. "You'd be a great mom." I tensed at his words as the movie started. "Let's watch the movie." 

~~~

The rest of the night was quiet as we dropped off the girls and Amelia, me telling Penny what happened when we got her home. After that I rode in silence with Rooster, his hand on my thigh, rubbing it a little. As we got home he walked me up to my porch, my head resting on my shoulder, my mood ruined. "Are you okay?" I shook my head as it rested on his chest, his arms wrapped around me. "You want to talk about it?" I shook my head. "Can you stay?" He nodded. "Let me go home and change and I'll be back." He watched me walk inside before going to his house next door. 

I let Dahlia out back while I went and changed. I heard the door open downstairs and I poked my head out of my room. "Roo?" It was quiet for a minute and my nerves creeped in. "It's me, honey." I grabbed my glasses from my bedside table and went downstairs. "Come here." He said opening his arms. I walked over and he pulled me close, "You sure you don't wanna talk about it?" I shook my head and walked over to the couch, laying on my back. "Cuddle with me?" He came and laid on me, his head resting on my chest. 

I grabbed the remote and turned on HBO Max, I selected the latest Halloween movie, which I've seen twice and turned it on. "You like horror movies?" He asked as he wrapped his arms tighter around me. "I love them." After a few minutes I heard claws clicking on the hardwood. I looked at the end of the couch to see Dahlia putting her feet on the couch. "Oh, Dahls-" She jumped up and literally laid on top of Rooster. "Dahlia!" Rooster chuckled at her. "She's okay, the pressure is nice, but are you okay?" It was a lot of weight on me, but it was calming me and making me sleepy. "I'm perfect." I said as I ran my hands up his back, under the black t-shirt he had on. Pretty soon I was drifting off.

I don't know how long I was asleep but Dahlia's barking woke me up with a start. I jumped up, almost tossing Rooster to the floor. "Hey! Shh, it's okay." He said placing a hand on my cheek. "I ordered food, it's just being delivered." I nodded as he got up and answered the door, he walked past the couch with a smirk on his face. "What'd you order?" I heard what sounded like a giggle from my kitchen. "Hang on!" After a few minutes he came in with a metal to-go container and a glass of Riesling. He handed me the plate and a smile grew on my face as a few tears welled in my eyes. 

"You remembered?" I asked as my voice broke. He handed me the container and wine as he rushed back for his food and another glass. "Of course, I remembered. You love Italian food, especially shrimp scampi. I even had them toss in tomatoes, mushrooms and asparagus." I leaned over and kissed him sweetly. "You have no idea how much this means to me." He smiled at me. "Only the best for my girl." 

We ate and laughed as we talked, he made me feel so much better. I knew that no one meant to ruin my mood, hell no one knew about it, it's not anyone's fault but my own for how I'm feeling. "You want some more?" I asked and he nodded. "Surprisingly, Riesling is actually very good." I nodded as I took our empty containers and glasses, placing a kiss to his forehead. "I love you, Rooster." He smirked and kissed my lips quickly. "I love you too, Magnolia." A giggle slipped past my lips as I went into the kitchen. 

I tossed the to-go containers in the trash, before washing the silverware quickly. I grabbed the bottle of Riesling from the fridge, pouring more into our glasses. I smiled as I walked back into the living room, but my smile fell as I raised my head. I thought he was looking at Laura's ultrasound, but as he reached for the frame next to it my heart sunk to my feet. "Caila." I could've flinched at how he used my real name. "What's this?" He asked as he had a sad look on his face. 

"Fuck."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Taglist:

@mak-32 @rosiahills22

[the-littlest-kojin]

I posted 980 times in 2022

That's 460 more posts than 2021!

367 posts created (37%)

613 posts reblogged (63%)

Blogs I reblogged the most:

@the-littlest-kojin

@scholarlostintime

@meepsthemiqo

@lizzy-of-the-dotharl-tribe

@primalvessel

I tagged 979 of my posts in 2022

#ffxiv - 938 posts

#shio shinju - 225 posts

#ffxiv writing - 217 posts

#ffxiv screenshots - 216 posts

#ooc - 181 posts

#not mine - 132 posts

#ffxiv roleplay - 116 posts

#the almighty reblog - 110 posts

#ffxiv art - 100 posts

#conroy rayne - 97 posts

Longest Tag: 114 characters

#character discussion is one of my favourite things to engage in but my views very rarely line up with the majority

My Top Posts in 2022:

#5

I'm aware that time zones mean that it is likely that most people are not around right now, but I'm craving to hear about all of your ships, HCs, and OCs. Tell me about your nonsense, ffxiv community!

52 notes - Posted June 19, 2022

#4

Placing the purchased plaque on the door of her studio, Amisgalgüi fiddles with it for a few moments to make sure it is straight. She can't read it herself, but she trusts the seller that it says what she requires - "Amis Qalli Songwriting Services".

Satisfied that the plaque is straight and affixed firmly, the petite Xaela moves into the studio, the room soundproofed and the back half of it full of instruments. Moving over to the desk, she places down a smaller sign, this one listing her rates - rates that the signmaker nearly choked upon seeing, but Amis knows the value of her musical skill.

Finally, she takes a stack of parchments, all marked with a map of Radz-at-Han and marked with the Qalli emblem at her shop, and sets out the door, harp in hand, intending to hand them out to anybody who asks her questions about her music, as well as leave a stack at the nearby inn.

Maybe with these accoutrements, she will get some more customers in - she always does love getting colourful and unique customers, all wanting their own styles of music, and she can write them all.

((This is an open RP I'm putting up! If anybody wants to have a mute Qalli write them music, please feel free to respond! She is mute and illiterate, but she's quite clever and she wants to write your songs!))

74 notes - Posted May 27, 2022

#3

So I'd like to take some time out of people's days to mark an NPC who is very important to the story.

An NPC who aids you. An NPC who is from another culture and another people, true, but chooses to spend their time and effort and thoughts on helping you. Because they think you're doing the right thing.

An NPC who, when push comes to shove and villains attack, tries to help. They are no match for the might of these villains, I can't help but imagine that they know this. But even so, they give their life to keep the attack of that armoured figure at bay. Sadly, in the arms of the Warrior of Light, this NPC breathes their last, having given everything they had, even their life, for your cause.

Everybody please, hold your hat in your hand and pay your respects for Noraxia, the first NPC to die in your arms in the MSQ.

Sadly, Noraxia's death has gone unmourned by the story and community both, since. So I felt that I'd do my part to draw attention to the tragic, horrible death of this lovely, kind, self-sacrificing person.

Remember Noraxia. She died in our arms.

Screen taken by the always amazing @snow-covered-moon. Thank you for taking this lovely screen of the death we should all remember forever.

92 notes - Posted June 3, 2022

#2

Tumblr mutuals, strangers, scoundrels, Warriors of Light, villains, gpose addicts, RPers, friends, Domans, countrymen:

I desire to know, what is one headcanon about an OC of yours that you want to talk about, but there's never the good opportunity to?

I'll start:

Amis is asexual and aromantic.

Please RB with your own!

187 notes - Posted May 26, 2022

My #1 post of 2022

Sometimes, I'll be struck with a random lore thought.

So, uh.

As was revealed in Endwalker.

The Moon was artificial.

Does this mean that the Ancients didn't have tides?

Does Emet-Selch stare out at the ocean and wax philosophical about the fact that back in the GOOD OLD DAYS the ocean was just STILL and FLAT?

Were there any moments where their plans were thrown off because of the tides?

Mitron specifically specialised in aquatic life. Was he thrown off by these "ocean currents" moving things around more than he was used to?

213 notes - Posted May 30, 2022

Get your Tumblr 2022 Year in Review →

[doomsdayhqs]

hi, would you guys please be willing to put a mun limit? i feel like there are already so many and i don't know if i'll be able to join in a setting with so many characters and writers

          hey   anon   !   we   specified   not   having   a   mun   or   muse   limit   in   our   rules   for   a   reason,   which   i'll   be   listing   and   explaining   under   the   cut   just   because   i   feel   that   we’ve   already   gotten   a   couple   asks   about   this   and   i   would   like   everyone   to   understand   why   i   chose   not   to   have   a   mun   limit.

        firstly,   the   group   has   pretty   relaxed   rules   regarding   activity,   with   us   only   doing   a   check   every   seven   days   and   the   requirement   being   active   at   least   once   on   three   out   of   those   seven   days.   so   there   is   no   pressure   at   all   to   be   constantly   active   on   your   characters.

        secondly,   after   having   joined   groups   with   mun   limits,   i   find   that   they   get   slow   and   then   die   out   pretty   quick   because   chances   are,   out   of   twenty   muns,   five   or   seven   just   may   never   post   after   opening;   a   few   more   will   likely   be   slow   in   activity   or   are   just   online   at   odd   times   due   to   timezones.   bottom   line   is   that   writers   often   come   and   go,   and   that's   okay.   and   while   i   certainly   don't   mind   a   slow   group,   it   can   be   discouraging   to   most   and   i   want   doomsday   to   last   as   long   as   possible.   the   idea   with   having   a   larger   number   of   muns   is   that   someone   will,   hopefully,   be   always   online   to   write,   and   that   the   group   will   be   going   at   a   pretty   comfortable   pace   and   activity   lulls   will   be   minimal.

        and   lastly,   another   issue   i   found   with   groups   with   mun   limits   is   that   with   the   smaller   amount   of   characters,   i   think   it   made   writers   feel   like   they   had   to   have   an   in-depth   plot   going   with   every   single   other   character   in   the   group.   that   or   many   characters   would   be   of   the   same   age   range   with   one   or   two   being   the   odd   ones   out,   making   plotting   difficult.   and   while   we   encourage   all   of   our   members   to   try   and   plot   with   everyone,   sometimes   characters   just   don't   mesh,   or   the   chances   of   them   even   encountering   each   other   are   pretty   low.   but   that's   okay   because   with   a   large   group   comes   diversity,   so   you're   bound   to   get   some   varying   plots   going   for   some   of   your   characters,   y'know?

        hopefully   my   explanation   made   sense   anon   but   tl;dr,   i   chose   not   to   have   a   mun   limit   for   a   set   of   very   specific   reasons   and   i'll   be   keeping   it   that   way   for   the   foreseeable   future.   though   i   do   hope   this   helped   ease   any   anxiety   you   may   have   had   about   joining.   if   not,   that's   okay   too   and   i'm   sure   you'll   be   able   to   find   a   group   that's   right   for   you.